Tell her parents that taking on an aggressive path will lead her to act irrationally; she could run away with the guy, or harm herself physically....
Dear Guru,
My college friend is in a challenging position both academically and personally. She is the only child of her family, and her parents have high hopes and expectations from her, especially since they are facing financial problems. But, unfortunately, she is not focusing on her studies and is instead risking her security.
The problem is her belief that shortcuts are the way to achieve her dreams. She is looking for a rich guy to marry, hoping that she will not have to work hard, study or work to support herself. I am troubled by her approach, as she is not paying any attention to her personal growth and independence and is not thinking about her parents at all.
My friend talks to random individuals online and sometimes even meets them at restaurants. This reckless behaviour worries me because people one meets on social media cannot be trusted. Also, I know her parents will be disappointed if they find out about her activities.
She is involved with a man who lives in a posh area of the city, and she believes him to be a wealthy guy. She thinks the guy wants to marry her; however, I doubt his intentions towards my friend. I fear that my friend may be placing herself in a vulnerable situation in her pursuit of wealth because she is not looking at the character and personality of this guy.
What if she ends up with someone who is not a good person? It will ruin her life, and cause great pain to her family. Guru, guide me on how to help my friend so that she can make better choices for her future. I want to see her succeed and achieve her goals in a way that is not only financially secure but also morally and ethically sound.
Concerned Friend
Dear Concerned Friend,
Your concern for your friend is truly heartwarming, and she is indeed fortunate to have a friend like you who genuinely cares about her well-being. I am sure you’ve already done your utmost to convince her to reconsider the risky path she’s currently on, but have not had any success.
Considering the severity of the situation, reaching out to her parents appears to be a sensible and responsible course of action. It is essential, however, to approach this delicate matter with utmost care and sensitivity. You can seek assistance from a trusted adult, such as your mother, to speak to her parents. It is crucial to emphasize the importance of keeping the conversation calm and non-confrontational. Tell her parents that taking on an aggressive path will lead her to act irrationally; she could run away with the guy, or harm herself physically.
When her parents engage in this discussion with her, they should focus on her emotional well-being rather than blaming her for her activities. They can express their love and concern for her, highlighting her intelligence, strength, and potential. They should tell her, for instance, that she is an obedient daughter, that she paints or cooks well, or she dresses up elegantly, that she makes her father stand tall with pride in family gatherings.
Let her know that she deserves a life filled with love and appreciation for her unique abilities and skills. They should offer to at least meet the guy she is seeing, but emphasize that she deserves more that just wealth and that her happiness and security should not depend on strangers.
These conversations, although potentially challenging, can be quite fruitful in reshaping her mindset and guiding her towards a more fulfilling and secure future.
It’s important to remember that change may take time, and she might not initially respond positively. But I am positive that ultimately your efforts to help her make better choices for herself will undoubtedly be worth it.
Good Luck!
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