“We must learn to hear the tongue of the Invisible” (Al-Quran). Listening and reading are two principles of our noble religion. Speech, though not prohibited, is expected to be used cautiously and judiciously. Speech is best restrained.
Management
“We must learn to hear the tongue of the Invisible” (Al-Quran). Listening and reading are two principles of our noble religion. Speech, though not prohibited, is expected to be used cautiously and judiciously. Speech is best restrained.
Feeding the movement of tongue through the unleashing of whatever a mind may think and conjure, be it noble or ignoble, needs to be constrained, within the limits of grace and decency.
“Those who know do not speak. Those who speak do not know,” (Lao Tzu). Those possessed of the virtue to learn are amongst the best of listeners.
Listening requires patience. A cheap leader / manager cannot own and possess the expensive trait of listening. Only a few are gifted with this attribute. In meetings, I have witnessed participants pleading and in some cases cajoling other participants to listen to what they have to say. Haven’t we all witnessed, a member of the meeting interrupting the speaker and thence the speaker making an impassioned plea, asking for allowance to complete what he had to say – don’t believe it? Just switch on any television news channel between 7:00 pm to 12:00 pm – you will witness by yourself this unbelievable contest to speak! Tongue is the enemy of listening. It is a major source of corporate deafness. I have seen in the board room what I get to detestably see on the TV talk shows. No different. As it is said, each of us only represents of what society, we are!
It is generally seen that silence is considered to be a mark of a wise-man; if it be so; the second step towards acquisition of wisdom, is to practice the art of listening. In the corporate and bureaucratic world, as one rises upon the hierarchical ladder, the less becomes the ability to listen and conversely to the peril of such individual, by an even greater measure the ability (desire) to speak, gathers immense momentum. A manager, who is well initiated knows that a short speech, is listened well. It spurs action. William Shakespeare in Hamlet wrote, “Give every man thine ear, but few thy voice”.
Good listening skills allow for learning profitably even from those who speak by sinking into shallowness of thought. Very aptly put by Oliver Wendell Holmes, “It is the province of knowledge to speak and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen”.
Listening is not easy. And listening to someone junior in hierarchy and experience is often a difficult task. To seize and improve, all managers must first admit this reality to themselves. Any imagined openness about oneself will not help the cause to become a good listener. It is only upon recognition that managers will start to value, listening. Hazrat Ali (RA) had remarked, listen to what is being said and not to focus on who is saying it. The merits of this thought as a major tool to have in the manager’s kit is irrefutable. Those who practice this would listen to all and sundry – over a period of time, the manager learns what is of value that must be retained by him and what he can consign to dustbin of forgotten memories. The patience listening requires is found only in the enlightened minds, who accept they have “more to receive” then “to give”. There is an anonymous quote about not listening to what is being said, “I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realise that what you heard is not what I meant”. A diabolical dilemma for the reasoning mind. The message extracted from any format of communication could be diametrically opposite to the message intended.
Silence is a virtue that permits the flow of internal ideas to settle and find a place in the persona of a manager, who must be desirous in wanting to know and understand the demands of his co-workers, for enhanced productivity.
We consider some persons as great communicators for two reasons, they either do not speak at all or when they speak they abandon the concept of “conversation”. It is during a conversation that one witnesses the art of taking and giving, that can be safely be attributed to “good listening skills”. Listening with undivided attention is sine-qua non of showing respect to the speaker. When you listen attentively, you actually begin to appreciate the feelings behind the words uttered. I am certain, many readers of this column, would have witnessed where either the chief guest himself or any other prominent person persons, make “speeches at various seminars, conferences and forums” – once done with their avalanche of borrowed wisdom that they dump upon the audience, they decide to leave… they have either no time, or interest or consider all others / speakers to be pygmies, regardless of their own subject matter expertise. This lot does not believe in listening. They merely speak and hear!
On many occasions, I have trapped myself as the worst victim of the tendency of rehearsing and practicing in mind, on how to respond to what is being said. I failed to listen. I merely heard and by the time the speaker had finished his discourse, I would be ready with a response. Of course, the responses in such situations only baffled my “listeners” and those “hearing” me, were always in applause! This tendency which largely affects those in position of authority, needs to be checked and curbed.
In communication, when you write “needless to state” or say in conversation “needless to mention”, then please don’t say; don’t mention. It is needless! These idiomatic expressions baffle me. I have seen people write dozens of pages after mentioning “needless to state” and speak for ages, after uttering; “needless to mention”.
The taming of the tongue must begin early in career, because it is wild, unruly evil and unharnessed. Eloquence in speech must also be well controlled, for it too can become tedious and boring. William Arthur Ward, in a lighter vein had this to say “skilful listening is the best remedy for loneliness, loquaciousness and laryngitis”.
A manager is always living in his make-belief world, that in every aspect of management of business, he must have the last word. In family owned businesses, this right to speak and refusal to listen, is a given inherent perk, but certainly an unjustifiable advantage.
Conversation is not about speaking; it is more about listening. By wanting to display arrogance of eloquence, the speakers walk into a swamp of impertinence and unreason-ability. Listening is the best discretion in any conversation. It leaves you enriched. It also masks your inadequacies. As they say – don’t open your mouth to confirm what they (listeners) think of you.
The writer is a freelance columnist
