Despite decades of progress in gender equality, violence against women remains one of the most persistent and pervasive human rights violations worldwide.
It transcends geography, culture, race and economic status. Whether it manifests in the form of domestic abuse, sexual assault, online harassment or institutional neglect, this violence women endure is not incidental. It is the consequence of deeply ingrained power imbalances, patriarchal norms and systemic discrimination.
Data shows that one in four women in Asia and the Pacific has encountered physical or sexual violence at the hands of an intimate partner during her lifetime. Around 90 per cent of Asia-Pacific countries, including Pakistan, have laws targeting violence against women. Pakistan is yet to undertake its national prevalence survey; however, the 2017-18 Demographic Health Survey reports that 34 per cent of ever-married women (aged 15-49) have faced spousal violence.
These are not merely figures, they represent human stories and lived experiences of women, often enduring violence in the supposed safety of their own homes and communities, and at the hands of their own husbands, in-laws, parents and relatives.
Almost daily, incidents of violence are reported in various media sources: honour killings, of pregnant women or young newly married women losing their lives at the hands of the very men they married. These stories are harrowing to read. It is not only the brutality of the crime but the condoning of the violence in the name of culture and tradition by the families and communities that is equally despicable.
When the family hides rape, denies medical care and saves ‘honour’ instead of life, it is a dishonourable violation of humanity and human rights. Women’s lives and experiences of violence are often regarded as a private affair and treated as a matter of family reputation, despite it being a legal or criminal matter. The recent incidents of a father killing his teenage daughter because she refused to delete her TikTok account, or a woman being killed by the family for choosing to marry a man of her choice, confirm the fact that women’s lives are not valued.
As a development practitioner and a researcher in the area of gender-based violence, I closely examine the subject of ‘social norms’ in my work, and have interacted with many participants. Their experiences tell a harrowing tale of how violence is justified and normalised in the name of family ‘reputation’, and women having to let go of their safety, dignity and decision-making for themselves.
Incidents such as the killing of women in Kohistan over a social media video of a happy gathering, or the beating of a wife over an unknown phone call by a husband, exemplify how violence is glorified as a correction.
Women are often made the sole flagbearers of the family’s reputation, even if it means they let go of their safety, dignity and most of the time, the decision-making for themselves. The silenced voices and censoring of behaviour conditioned by culture and norms of what is ‘right’ and what is ‘wrong’ continues to be highly gendered still in society like ours, where women are subjected to brutality, violence and often death at the hands of their protectors.
Having legislative and policy reforms is important to address violence against women, but not enough – until harmful social norms continue to be nurtured in communities where women are still not considered equal.
Any form of violence not only impacts the survivor’s health, physical and psychological, but also blocks their economic and social growth. Fear for safety and social stigma are common, where women are often seen resorting to self-censoring their own right of choices and voices in public and digital spaces to safeguard themselves from being targeted, abused and bullied. Every time a woman is told to stay silent to protect her abuser’s or her family's reputation, every time a survivor is blamed, a culture of impunity is perpetuated. Women’s safety cannot be optional and their pain is not negotiable.
Systemic change cannot happen without addressing the root causes that promote patriarchy and discrimination against women. Addressing inequity and discriminatory social norms and behaviour requires a whole-of-community approach to bring change in the mindsets over generations and across all levels – individual, family, community and institutions.
It requires deconstructing gendered norms from a very early age, through age appropriate comprehensive education that integrates gender equality and human rights elements; engaging young boys and men as allies and change agents in promoting gender equality and women empowerment; building institutional capacity and systems to understand and respond to the needs of the survivors; legislation and policies that recognise and prosecute all forms of violence; and programmes that are survivor centred.
Until we treat violence against women as a national emergency, we will continue to fail half of the population. It's time to turn outrage into action and silence into solidarity to eliminate the root causes of violence against women.
The writer is the deputy representative at the UNFPA.
