Italy to fine you for texting on crosswalks: Here's why

Italy's government has finally identified society's real menace, and it isn't texting drivers; it's texting pedestrians. Under an updated highway code expected by mid-October, anyone caught staring at their phone mid-crosswalk could be fined €75 or more.

Anyone who's tried turning right on red while a phone-zombie inches into the crosswalk knows the appeal here.

The offending pedestrian isn't just risking their own safety; they're forcing every nearby driver to do double the situational awareness, watching the road and babysitting a stranger's life decisions simultaneously. Italy's proposal won't stop everyone, but it at least puts a price tag on ignoring oncoming traffic.

Why stop at crosswalks?

If Italy is willing to legislate one universally annoying habit, it's worth asking what else deserves a fine. A world with consequences for public nuisances is a more peaceful one, and there's no shortage of candidates.

Leaving a ringtone on in public earns a $200 fine; decades after downloadable ringtones stopped being charming, there's no excuse for a phone that isn't silent unless someone's an on-call surgeon.

If you interrupt a conversation before another person can finish what they are saying, it should come with a $200 fine as well because being patient doesn’t cost anything and makes everyone avoid having an incomplete monologue.

Not putting your chair in when you leave the table at a restaurant is a $250 fine because there are so many servers that have to weave their way through the busy aisles while carrying their plates over obstacles people couldn’t be bothered to move.

The heftiest fine at $500 is for the electric scooter people who are warned by the company about riding on sidewalks even though the bike lanes exist for this exact purpose.