Everyone romanticises motherhood-the first cry, the tiny fingers wrapped around yours, the heart-bursting love. But behind those picture-perfect moments lies a truth no one warns you about. No one talks about the pain that lingers after childbirth or a C-section, the hormonal crash that hijacks your emotions, the nights without sleep, the frustration of breastfeeding struggles, and the relentless pressure to keep a fragile little life safe. And perhaps most devastating of all-the quiet, invisible storm of postpartum depression.
My experience with postpartum depression was one of the darkest and most challenging periods of my life. It felt like I was living in a deep, isolated hole-grappling with my identity as a new mother, trying to drown out the unsolicited advice from everyone around me, and battling a relentless undercurrent of rage, sadness, and confusion. There were moments when I questioned my decision to become a mother. Don't get me wrong -- I love my child beyond words. "Love" doesn't even begin to describe it. But I often found myself wishing someone had told me it was okay to feel what I was feeling -- that it was normal. That it wasn't my fault.
And that's where the real problem lies: in the silence. So many women experiencing postpartum depression don't even realise what's happening to them. The lack of awareness and conversation around PPD makes it that much harder for those who do recognise the signs to seek help. Even with a supportive husband, I felt alone - because no matter how much he wanted to help, he couldn't fully understand what I was going through, or why I couldn't simply "snap out of it."
I blamed my constant anger, exhaustion, and emotional rollercoaster on a lack of sleep. But deep down, I knew it was more than that. It took weeks of internal battles to convince myself to seek professional help. The guilt of not being able to give my son 100% pushed me to search for a therapist who specialised in postpartum depression. I finally started therapy when I was four months postpartum, and it wasn't easy. Trusting someone with my pain, fearing judgment as a new mom, wondering whether my therapist would truly understand-it all felt overwhelming at first. But I kept going. Because I wanted to find myself again. And slowly, it helped.
I was lucky. I had a husband who encouraged me to stick with therapy. I had a therapist who reminded me that what I was feeling was valid, that none of this was my fault, and that simply keeping my baby alive was more than enough. Gradually, my perspective began to shift. I started feeling a little lighter. A little stronger. I started to reclaim myself.
Mental health remains one of the most neglected aspects of healthcare in Pakistan and postpartum depression is barely acknowledged. I wish more women spoke openly about their experiences. I wish gynecologists routinely asked about mental health during postpartum checkups. I wish society didn't expect new mothers to be superheroes without ever asking if they're okay.
Postpartum depression is real. It's debilitating. And unless you've lived through it, it's hard to truly understand its toll. If you find yourself acting out of character or feeling overwhelmed, please know - there's no shame in seeking help. A mentally healthy mother is essential to raising a happy, healthy child. You don't have to do it alone. Reaching out is the first step toward healing.
Meeran Yousuf is a seasoned communications professional with more than ten years of experience in strategic and crisis communications, digital marketing, and advocacy. Her work spans the development, public health, and humanitarian sectors. She holds a degree in Social Sciences from SZABIST, Karachi, and currently serves as the Communications and Partnerships Coordinator at the Health and Population Welfare Department, Government of Sindh.