For the new mom, the best advice to pay heed to is the one about sleep and reading up on everything you need to know about babies and your recovery
When you assume the position of a soon-to-be mom, unsolicited advice from all over pours in. Perhaps the best advice to pay heed to in this time is about sleep and reading up on everything you need to know about babies and your recovery.
Sleep and rest as much as you can. Not because that will help you prepare for what’s about to come but because you bid adieu to these two things as soon as the baby is born, for at least a couple of months. So, spoil your body and mind with rest and sleep before they are tested beyond their limits. In the moments you are up, educate yourself with the problems you or the baby may encounter after birth and how to cope with them.
As a side note, a round of applause and the loudest cheers for the ladies who keep soldiering on before and after the birth of their babies and don’t know what I’m talking about. You are the heroines I aspire to become.
Soldier or cry baby, what is common among mothers is the hard work they put into raising their babies. A mom’s life is all about trying — as hard as they can — and still feeling like a failure at the end of the day, or after a few days. This is where a strong support system ought to play its role as guilt accompanies new moms like the older or younger sister chaperoning at a friend’s birthday party, in childhood; especially if there are people around who keep telling one how much more they could be doing for their child.
A round of applause and the loudest cheers for the ladies who keep soldiering on before and after the birth of their babies and don’t know what I’m talking about. You are the heroines I aspire to become.
If you are one of those people to a mom you know, STOP. Stop because the mother already probably thinks whatever she’s doing, she could have done better, be it the number of feeds during the night or the number of times the baby is bathed and generally cleaned and changed throughout the day. Instead of criticising and advising her, help. Help burp the baby, or change the baby’s diaper, or cut their nails, or bathe them, or maybe even write the piece she promised to write within the week but can’t find the time to, anything - anything at all.
She may take her time to verbally thank you but the silent prayer she would mutter for you would be straight from the heart.
To the new moms out there crying as their baby cries, after the baby stops crying and even later, I say: know that it gets better. It gets worse again from what people tell me but then it gets better again. Nearing the two- to three-month mark, the baby starts responding through the tiniest of gestures like smiles, frowns and full-on laughs. Prepare to melt away as that happens, ladies. It feels even better than when one eats chocolate or cheese. Fellow foodies would know what I’m talking about.
Also, never let comments about your child in general or about his/ her growth in comparison to other equally beautiful children get you down. Each and every baby is beautiful in their own way. Know it in your heart and don’t validate the ones commenting with even a response.
Additionally, don’t forget to thank the husbands (he’ll thank you too), moms, sisters, fathers or brothers who take care of THEIR baby by helping out as much as they can. We all know they have a special place in heaven as they are nothing but angels.
The writer has a bachelor’s degree in English literature and an MS in public relations and advertising. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org