If you are a normal human being, life in a country like Pakistan scars you -- a little bit more so each week. And at the end of each week certain scars stand out. It is best to deal with them while one is aware, otherwise they can infect one’s mind and discourse. Two big scars this week: Imran Khan and the discourse in Pakistan after the same-sex marriage ruling in the US.

In statement after statement, the PTI supporters referred to ‘35 punctures’ -- an allegation of election rigging against Najam Sethi and the state machinery. Claims were made regarding evidence, sometimes sheepishly but other times in ways that might as well have involved thumping of the chest. The whole election process, and the system built on it, was called into question. Sethi was ridiculed and defamed countless times. Hundreds of thousands on social media added to this -- of course, how could the great messiah Imran Khan be wrong? He, after all, built a cancer hospital and (as he never lets us forget even in our deepest sleep) won the World Cup.

As time passed, there were murmurs that things were unravelling. The promised evidence was not forthcoming, KPK was taking longer than 90 days for its transformation into Perfectville. As the Judicial Commission looking into the election process went about its work, suspense deepened. The climax never came. The reason? Khan in a very casual way explained that a most serious allegation of abuse of power and corruption against a Caretaker Chief Minister of the country’s most populous province was a ‘political statement’. Just let that sink in.

Imagine this: suppose a man less illustrious than Sethi had been picked to be the Caretaker CM. Imagine a regular civil servant with no other credentials to save his reputation except his public service career -- largely hidden from public view. His life, his reputation and the lives of his entire family would have been destroyed. And that is putting it mildly. This appears to have escaped Khan’s narcissistic worldview. His party is still fighting over whether they have actually apologised or not. It does not occur to them that the issue is not only about Sethi but about the kind of allegations that a party can make and then not so much as even shift with guilt. This is classic PTI. Take a position, a radical one, get everyone riled up, destroy a few reputations, look away from the real problems and then just grin sheepishly at the end. If this is the party you voted for, you need to have a conversation with yourself. This party is not going to save you. As one of my favourite teachers once said, you will need to save you from yourself.

Speaking of saving ourselves and others, it is Ramzan so everyone thinks it is obligatory on them to save those committing sins. One of the more serious sins apparently, at least last week (note: sins keep changing in Pakistan), was committed by those not announcing their revulsion towards a decision by Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) in Obergefell v Hodges.

In a 5-4 split, the top court in the US ruled that the 14th Amendment grants same-sex couples the right to marry and have their marriages recognised by law (along with all benefits such as taxation et al.) nation-wide. The conservative Justices who inspire me the most (Justice Scalia and Chief Justice Roberts) dissented.

I see their point but also see merits of the majority’s legal argument.

But the discourse in Pakistan is, unfortunately, not about the legal argument.

So, the important news first: the American ruling did not say that you must marry a person of the same sex -- it is not forcing you into gay marriage. Yes, I think that required clarification.

And the American ruling does not say that all Muslims must celebrate the ruling. So, your religion is not under threat. Take a deep breath. Well, the religion is under threat from people recruiting young minds then killing thousands across the world in the name of Islam, but surely that is nothing to get so upset about.

On a more serious note here are my two problems with the discourse in this country after the gay marriage ruling: one, "why should it matter to you?" The second question is, "why are you not condemning it?"

Why should it matter to someone like me? Let’s begin with a question: why should it have mattered to anyone in Pakistan that in 1950s when the same US court ruled that segregation between black and white school children was unconstitutional under the same 14^th Amendment? But it matters to our courts, including the Supreme Court. Pick any ten major Pakistan rulings on the law surrounding discrimination and you will find American precedent on unlawful discrimination in most of them. It helps to be curious and to be informed about how other societies are addressing issues that have gained traction in their unique milieu. Let’s go a step further: some people can simply be interested in the jurisprudence of the American courts -- this includes lawyers, judges, students of political science, economics, politics, sociology etc. Why is a religion under threat if a country thousands of miles away rules on something that you find offensive? And why should anyone, except the most ignorant, be offended if people can draw the distinction between what Islam allows (for us to live with) and what another country does (for them to live with)?

Why should any Pakistani be expected to condemn it? You are free to condemn it if you want, sure, but there is something deeply wrong with your worldview if you care more about whether others around you are condemning it. Do you do this every time a country legalises drugs or allows drinking bars or legalises prostitution?

You can be a Muslim, remain a Muslim and yet still understand and respect the happiness of others even if you do not intend to practice a right that they have won in another country. A deeper issue regarding the same-sex marriage ruling is this: a group of people felt marginalised and excluded from exercise of a right that they, in their own context, deemed fundamental to their life, liberty and pursuit of happiness. The legal and political arguments involved, for and against any such cause, could and (to my mind) should interest a lot of people.

Here are things that a devout Muslim may not celebrate but just check if you or people you know (here or abroad) engage in these: drinking alcohol, partying in a club, taking recreational drugs, checking out members of the opposite gender, watching porn, dating and the physical intimacy that can accompany it, owning a gun without a license. A number of countries in the world do not make these things unlawful. Then there are things that most countries consider unlawful but we still do it: bribes, nepotism/sifarish, not paying minimum wage to the staff, engaging under-age workers, harassment of women. What is more important for a religious person? To ridicule others or to watch your own actions?

And just while we are on the subject: think back to the year 2009 and then 2012. Supreme Court of Pakistan in rulings hailed as remarkable ordered that eunuchs (now referred to as the ‘third gender’) are entitled to fundamental rights under the Constitution of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan. Fundamental rights. Those capture a lot of things -- read Article 9 to 28 of the Constitution and see the ambit. In a land far away, another group of people wanted their fundamental rights enforced. They thought it included their right to marry.

You can disagree with the outcome but nothing, absolutely nothing, allows you to feel that your faith is threatened. And similarly nothing, absolutely nothing, gives you the license to rule on how faithful to the faith another person is. You want to deal with a real problem? That right there, whether you are a good or pure enough Muslim, is the Muslim world’s biggest problem.