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he can do that, trust me!) but when the doubt is in the director’s mind, not even Kevin Costner can save the sinking ship! 3 Days to Kill is by far the worst film to feature a major Hollywood actor (Kevin Costner), directed by a renowned director (McG) and penned by a successful writer (Luc Besson) together. It should never have been made, let alone be released to torture the hapless audience who went to watch it in the cinema.
A story that is a mixture of everything!
3 Days to Kill has the best story, ever – on paper that is. An ex-CIA operative Ethan Renner (Kevin Costner) has a few months to live which he tries to spend with his estranged wife (Connie Nielsen) and daughter Zoey (Hailee Steinfeld). Out of nowhere comes a miracle drug but in order to get that, he must do one more job for his CIA handler (Amber Heard). Throw in an African-American family that forcefully lives in Renner’s place, a daughter who lies all the time and gangsters who are family men when at home, and voila, the story is complete.
What was I expecting?
Since the movie features Kevin Costner as an ex-CIA agent, I was hoping to find next-generation action, a flick where good things happen to the good people; bad things to bad people and all ends well. Since Luc Besson (writer) and McG (director) were behind the project, I expected to experience a sane script and world-class direction from people who had given us La Femme Nikita, Leon, The Fifth Element, The Transporter series and Taken – that’s all Besson – as well as Charlie’s Angels and This Means War (that’s McG!). I couldn’t have had been more wrong in making assumptions since watching 3 Days To Kill made me realize that even good filmmakers needed vacations, and this film was made with Luc Besson and McG on vacation, with assistants handling the project.
What wasn’t I expecting?
There are a certain set of rules about filmmaking that every filmmaker must follow. A) Never take the audience for granted; B) Always try to make an intelligent film even if the script isn’t upto it and, C) Never overuse gimmicks even if your life depended on it. Experienced filmmakers Besson and McG seemed to break all three above-mentioned rules while trying to ape Taken where Liam Neeson was outstanding as a father who does everything possible to save his daughter. In 3 Days To Kill, there is Costner in place of Neeson and a mysterious super-agent Vivi Delay (Amber Heard) who is his handler, but believe me, she looks more like a dominatrix even though she is young enough to be his daughter! The African-American family living in his house has a pregnant daughter (yes yes, she has a baby girl who is named Ethan!), there is a scene where Costner’s character teaches his daughter how to ride a bicycle, while he saves her from being assaulted in another scene, just like Neeson does in Taken (she was kidnapped there). There are ‘comedy’ scenes where the ex-CIA guy seeks the help of his abductees and the ride into the world of fools is complete.
What I did experience…
The stupidity doesn’t end there … whenever Costner’s character goes out to meet the handler Vivi, she is dressed in the most outrageous of attires and displays sensuality for no reason. He isn’t interested in her at all, yet she seems always ready to take him to bed. In one of the scenes, she shows up in a platinum-blonde wig, seamed stockings, and shiny red lipstick; in another she has done away with the wig but the makeup reminded you of Tarantino’s ladies. She is 27, he is 59; do the math!
What I will never forget …
Kevin Costner used to be a brilliant actor – in the 90s; and that too before Waterworld. As Ethan Renner (why does it sound like Ethan Hunt???) he tries to be cool about his job and his responsibility as a parent and makes the twin tasks look easy. But here is the thing; whenever the villain was in sight, he would lose consciousness and faint and that didn’t happen on one or two occasions – it happened so many times in the movie that you felt like jumping into the screen and making him stand up and deliver (for the sake of your money!) He would lose consciousness during a fight scene; regain his senses in time to deliver and then faint again to make the audience wonder whether the director was high when he called the shots!
Kevin Costner and his fans deserved better!
Even the great Kevin Costner fails to rescue this one. Yes there are a few car chases and action scenes here and there, but haven’t we had enough of that? It’s 2014 and people would pay money to watch Vin Diesel do that stuff rather than watch Kevin Costner do the same, coughing his lungs out and fainting here and there! This is the kind of movie that you should only watch when Kevin Costner has a gun to your head and the rest of the films in the world have been destroyed somehow. Avoid at all costs!
Omair Alavi works for Geo TV and can be contacted at omair78@gmail.com
