hen I asked a dear friend of mine why he was skipping the gym again, his answer made sense, but it was, I might say, a bit too basic.

Since the start of this whole wave of self-love, people have pushed everything into it, to the extent that doing something becomes solely self-love. Everything you do out of self-love can, in some way or another, be tagged as selfish, the kind of selfish that isn’t really harming anyone, but can somehow disregard them for that period of time.

I don’t claim to be the bench-press king, but I’ve been going to the gym consistently for over a year now. And no, I’m not counting the on-again-off-again periods in previous years (though I would count those if it were about a ‘situationship’). Honestly, I’d say there should be a national policy on it. Some tax cuts, maybe? (Mr Trump, are you listening?) Not necessarily for going to the gym, but for any sort of exercise that promotes the longevity of your muscles and calms your nervous system.

So when I asked my friend why he was skipping the gym, his answer was that he didn’t want to skip family time. That, I understand and completely support. Nothing is above your family. But what I support even more is that nothing should be above the means through which you support your family. That’s why we work so hard at our jobs, don’t we? Anyone with the responsibility to provide will work hard — obviously, for their sense of accomplishment, but even more so because of the innate desire to provide better. Since that’s a core pillar and a direct benefit to your family, you’ll always prioritise it.

Now hear me out: physical fitness can — rather, I’d say, should — be tagged in the realm of taking care of your family. You can only take care of others if you first take care of yourself. That’s the very reason an air hostess instructs you to wear the oxygen mask yourself before you can help someone else. Why? Because you’ll be in a better position to help them.

The gym — or any physical activity — is a great form of self-care. Done right over a long period of time, it increases your ability to take care of your family.

So I told my friend: if you don’t want to do it for yourself, do it for them. The gym — or any physical activity — is a great form of self-care. Done right over a long period of time, it increases your ability to take care of your family. You’re calmer (no more grunting over small things — grunt over a bench press instead), and in the long run, you won’t have muscle problems (so please skip deadlifts — let’s not risk our backs unnecessarily).

The second thing I told my friend was: stop making excuses. You can’t show me a screen time of 5+ hours on your phone and then make excuses. It’s clearly about a lack of consistent effort.

We’re consistently using our phones for hours every day, even if it’s in small pockets. Now, some might argue that scrolling helps them calm down. Not going to lie, I am one of those people. And it does work. The recent war hysteria was definitely ‘calmed’ down by the meme war between the two neighbouring countries, and I’m absolutely loving it.

Anyway, things come and go, but your body will stick with you. It’s the only home you’re guaranteed to have for life. And whether you’re chilling in front of the TV, running errands with your parents, or holding your kid’s hand, decades from now — you’re going to want it functioning well.

Because at the end of the day, the memes will still be waiting. The scroll will still be there. But those moments you get with your family — those dinners, those hugs, those inside jokes are irreplaceable. And the stronger you are, the longer you’ll get to enjoy them.

Shaafay Zia is an ex-serviceman and a freelancer. He can be reached at shaafayzia@gmail.com