I don’t find her attractive anymore
I am a 26-year-old guy. I belong to a middle-class family. I work in a private organisation and I earn pretty well. Guru, I have been in a relationship with a very nice girl, T, for six years. She is 24 and happens to be our neighbour. She is a teacher by profession. Our families know that we like each other. I promised T to marry her but, Guru, there is a hitch. Actually, T is plain-looking and I don’t find her attractive anymore. Initially, I was very excited and happy to be in a relationship, but with the passage of time this excitement has worn off and I am having second thoughts. She is a wonderful person, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with a plain girl. Guru, I want to leave her, but don’t have the courage to do so. I don’t want to hurt her feelings. I like beautiful, glamorous girls and T is not inclined towards fashion or makeup. I am very confused. What should I do?
Dear Perplexed P,
You have been romantically involved with this girl for the past six years and now you are having second thoughts! Think sensibly. What’s the fault of that girl? If you were not sure of your feelings, you shouldn’t have promised to marry her in the first place. If you break your promise, you’ll also break her heart. Think about T’s qualities. She has been sincere with you all these years and she surely deserves you. It’s human nature to be excited in the initial days of a relationship and slowly and gradually that level of excitement decreases.
And, mind you, ‘looks’ take a backseat once you are married. What really matters is one’s nature. Marry T as she is a good-natured girl. I am sure you will stay happy with her after marriage.
I want to live with my mom
I am a 16-year-old girl. I am studying in class X. I am from a broken family. My parents got divorced when I was 13. They had an arranged marriage. My mother went to the UK to her brother’s house and took my younger brother with her, who was 10 at that time, whereas my father took my custody. Then, after a year, my father married his ex-girlfriend, J. He always wanted to marry her but he was pressurised to marry my mother against his will. Guru, it’s been two years and I am still struggling to accept J as my mom. J has turned out to be a typical stepmom. She doesn’t treat me nicely and shows fake affection when my father is around. Guru, I really miss my mother. I am in touch with her and she wants me with her in the UK. My mom is a doctor and my mamu and brother are also there, so I know I can be happy there. But, my father is not letting me go. He is adamant that I should stay with him. Guru, I don’t like J and I want to be with my mom. J is expecting a child. My father is happy with his new wife and I feel lonely. What should I do?
Dear Disturbed Daughter,
I can very well understand your dilemma. Children whose parents are divorced often find themselves in torn between their parents. Mostly stepmoms don’t treat their stepchildren nicely. Of course, you cannot expect J to be as affectionate as your real mom, but try to develop cordial relations with her as long as you have to live with her. As far as your father is concerned, try to persuade him to send you to the UK. I don’t know about the legalities, but I think now you can take your own decision whether you want to live with your father or mother. Your father is happy with J and will be involved with his new child soon, but he should not separate you from your mother. Involve some elder from your family who can talk to your father. After all, you also have a right to live happily.
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