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By US Desk
Fri, 10, 16

I am a 19-year-old girl. I have just started college. It took a lot of courage and confidence for me to convince my orthodox parents to allow me to pursue a liberal arts education, instead of forcing me to study medicine.

I am my own enemy

Dear Guru,

I am a 19-year-old girl. I have just started  college. It took a lot of courage and confidence for me to convince my orthodox parents to allow me to pursue a liberal arts education, instead of forcing me to study medicine. In that period, I became extremely confused myself and started questioning the career plan I’d designed; would it be able to earn me a decent living? All that confusion, coupled with numerous other problems that were going on in my life at that time, made it difficult for me to concentrate on studies. In the  last year of A-level, I decided to switch my subjects to easier ones, and hence managed to pass. efore college started, I was really happy. I thought my mind was finally clear on what I wanted to study and pursue. But now I am one month into college, and it feels like I just want to stop doing what I’m doing. I feel like either killing myself or hiding myself in some far away forest. I don’t know what’s going on with me but no matter how hard I try, I cannot concentrate on my studies. I’ve tried putting my phone and laptop away, I’ve tried distancing myself from any kind of negativity around me, I’ve tried creating a comfortable studying environment in my room, but nothing seems to work. This is driving me crazy. I need to concentrate and work hard to become financially independent; otherwise, I will have to bear the humiliation of becoming a burden on my parents for the rest of my life. I will never forgive myself if the money they spend on my education is wasted in the end. I do not know if I am procrastinating, or if I am lazy, exhausted, frustrated or what! All I know is that whatever it is, it’s affecting me terribly. Please help me out. What should I do?

Hate Everything

Dear Hate Everything,

I edited your very long letter for clarity purposes. It is my request to all my readers to keep the word count in mind while writing your problems as we have limited space.

Your problem is not exactly a problem. You are an intelligent girl and like most intelligent people you also know where the shoe pinches. I think you are just going through a phase. You know that you have to study, you have chosen your subjects yourself and you are willing to study. It’s just that you don’t know where to start from. You know you have displeased your parents by taking the subjects of your choice against their will. And this is why you are under pressure to achieve your targets at any cost. Now, it has become a matter of ego for you and I think that’s the reason why you are stressed out. My dear, take it easy; don’t make your studies a matter of your life and death. We all make mistakes. I have seen lot of young people making wrong career choices. Maybe you have also made a blunder. I advise you to rethink about what you actually like and want to do. There is no harm in taking your parents’ advice in this regard. They may be upset with you, but they are your well-wishers. They will not like it if they see you in distress. So instead of wasting any more time, talk to your parents about your study dilemma. Accept your fault. It will give you mental relief. Good luck!  

She is so innocent

Hi Guru,

I am a regular reader of your column. I am 17 years old and a student of 2nd year in a prestigious college of Peshawar. In the evenings, I go to a coaching academy. Guru, my problem is that I am in love with a girl, but I don’t know whether she loves me or not. I saw her first time in my coaching academy and I instantly fell in love with her. So after much thought, last month, I mustered some courage and expressed my feelings but she did not respond. Guru, I am very confused now. She is so pretty and innocent and she also gives me those looks. But she doesn’t say anything. What should I do?

Lover Edwardian

Dear Lover Edwardian,

I think you are too young to fall in love. Like I have said before many a time, this is just infatuation. You are charmed by her beauty and innocence and this is natural at your age. If she did not respond to you it clearly means that she is not interested in you. However, she likes the fact that you are after her and she enjoys this situation. So, it’s better if you stop giving her unnecessary attention. My dear, it’s a passing fancy. You will get over her soon.

Good luck!