Xwit

COMIC RELIEF

• Charlie Alzamora (@chalzamora): When it came time to decide on a final Wizard of Oz character, adding the Scarecrow was a no-brainer.
• Ugh (@ughfinewhatever): Considering joining a cult just for the subsidized housing.
• Natalie Would (@_NatalieWould): There are two kinds of people: those who enjoy being mean, and those who do it reluctantly
• Mr.Carter (@dexteristwisted): *Brings therapist to family gatherings*

Me: See

Therapist: Oh my God

• Dave Smith (@ComicDaveSmith): Here’s a radical idea for America that is probably a little too out there, but what if we went 5 years without fighting or funding a war?
• Leen McBeans (@LeenMcBeans): It’s been a long time since I’ve won an award for anything but recently my 8-year-old nephew told his mom that I’m the weirdest person he knows and TBH that is quite an honour.

Laugh Lines

Miscommunication

A man took his 8-year-old daughter to the office on ‘Take your

daughter to work day’. When they walked into the office, the daughter looked around and promptly started to cry. As concerned staff gathered round, the father asked her what was wrong. Disappointed, she said, “Daddy, where are all the clowns you said you work with?”

RIDDLE ME THIS

Q: Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses in the classroom?

A: Because the class was so bright.

Q: How do you comfort a grammar teacher?

A: Say… “They’re, there, their.”

Q: How is an English teacher like a judge?

A: They both give out sentences.

Q: What do you call an English teach with a social media addiction?

A: Instagrammar.

Q: What is a math teacher’s favourite snake?

A: A pi-thon.

Q: What do you call a teacher who forgot to take attendance?

A: Absent-minded.

POINTS TO PONDER

“Sometimes the road less travelled is less travelled for a reason.” – Jerry Seinfeld