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September 16, 2022

I love my parents but I love my grandparents too. How can I make my mother understand this? I am in a fix. Please help me in this regard....

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My mother has become insecure

Dear Guru,

I am a 14-year-old girl. I study in one of the prestigious schools of Karachi. I have three older siblings, and I belong to an educated family. Both my parents are renowned doctors. In mornings they practice in a private hospital and in evenings they see patients in their private clinic. I hardly get to see them. Sunday is our only family day where all members of the family get together at breakfast table. My parents have provided us with all the material comforts in life, except for their time. That gap is filled by my loving grandparents who live with us. Guru, I was literally brought up by my grandparents. They used to pamper me a lot and they still treat me like a baby. We have house help but my grandmother makes breakfast for me with her own hands. All my older siblings are also busy with their lives and since I spend most of the time with my grandparents, I am very attached to them, but my mother does not like it. Guru, she wasn’t around when I needed her the most. When I was growing up, my grandparents gave me all the support and love I needed. It suited my mother at that time because she was very busy establishing her career. Now, however, she has become kind of insecure. She thinks I give more importance to my grandparents than her. Well, that’s not entirely true. I love my parents but I love my grandparents too. How can I make my mother understand this? I am in a fix. Please help me in this regard.

Little Girl

Dear Little Girl,

Blessed are homes where grandparents live. In families where parents are busy, and where they cannot give their children their full attention, grandparents come to their rescue. It’s such a wonderful arrangement! It’s good to know that you are attached to your grandparents. Here, I must give credit to both your parents and grandparents who have given you the necessary support and affection. You are lucky to have a loving and caring family. As for your mother, I guess only you can change her perception. Talk to your mother very nicely and tell her that there is no need for her to feel insecure. Explain to her, without being disrespectful, why you are so close to your grandparents. Also, tell her how much you love her. Sometimes, little gestures of love and affection go a long way. Be attentive to her when she is around. Show by your actions that you care for her. Once she realizes how much you love her, I am sure she will stop feeling insecure. Good luck!

I want to be a musician

Salam Guru,

I love the way you solve teenagers’ problems. I am a 16-year-old boy. I am a student of first year, and I belong to an affluent family. I am inclined towards music and I am blessed with a good voice, too. Guru, I want to be a musician. I am naturally good at playing guitar. For that I need to buy a professional guitar but my father has plainly refused to get me one. He wants me to focus on my studies. I have told my dad that I would not neglect my studies but he does not believe me. He says that I can pursue my hobby after I complete my formal education. Guru, this is not my hobby. I seriously want to become a musician. My dad has shattered my dreams. I am so depressed. What should I do?

Upset Boy

Dear Upset Boy,

I can understand your feelings and I know you are hurt. But, don’t ignore your father’s apprehensions. He is only concerned about your studies and is afraid that in your quest to become a musician, you would neglect your studies. In today’s competitive world, it’s very important to be reasonably educated. Don’t feel dejected, and try to persuade your dad to at least get you a guitar. You need to prove to your dad that you will not neglect your studies. Get good grades persistently, and I am sure your dad will get a guitar for you. Good luck!

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