The poodle of steel!
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa. She took her poodle along for company. One day, the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a hungry-looking leopard heading rapidly in his direction. The poodle thinks, “Oh, oh!”
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew them with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the poodle exclaims loudly, “Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here!”
Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-strike. A look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. “Whew!” says the leopard. “That was close! That poodle nearly had me!”
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here, monkey, hop on my back, so you can watch me chew that poodle to bits!” Now, the poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, “What am I going to do now?” But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet, and waits until they get just close enough to hear. “Where’s that damn monkey?” the poodle says. “I had sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!”
One day a blond walks into a doctor’s office with both of her ears burnt. The doctor asks her what had happened. She says, “Well... when I was ironing my work suit, the phone rang and I mistakenly picked up the iron, instead of the phone.
“Well, that explains one ear, but what about the other?”
“The idiot called again!”
Compiled by Usama Rasheed
Look away, Chicago Bears!
Mommy Bear and Daddy Bear were at a divorce court. The judge looked down and asked the Baby Bear, “So Baby Bear, do you want to live with Daddy Bear?”
“Oh, no!” Baby Bear replied. “I don’t want to live with Daddy Bear. He beats me.”
“Well then, you should live with Mommy Bear?” asked the judge.
“Oh, no! I don’t want to live with Mommy Bear. She beats me, too.”
“Well then, Baby Bear! Who do you want to live with?”
Baby Bear said, “I want to live with the Chicago Bears. They don’t beat anybody!”
Compiled by Usama Rasheed