I am worried about my sister
Salam Guru,
I am a 23-year-old graduate girl. I am a regular reader of your column. I belong to a middle-class family and I work in a private firm as a junior marketing executive. I have been romantically involved with my colleague, R, for the past two years. He is 25 years old and is very serious about me. But, Guru, there is a problem. I have recently come to know that my younger sister, S, who is only 17 years old, is having an affair with her cousin, F. I caught her red-handed while she was chatting with him on the net. Though F is related to us, I know he is a flirt and is not suitable for my innocent sister, but I really don’t know how to stop her from seeing that loser. When I scolded her, she threatened me that she would tell my secret to our parents. This is really worrisome for me. If my parents find out about my affair with R, they will really get mad at me. I am really worried for my sister. She thinks I am jealous of her, but that is not the case. What should I do?
Concerned Zee
Dear Concerned Zee,
Human relationships are very tricky. Sometimes we think something that is okay for us is not right for the others. You are completely okay with your own affair but have reservations about your sister. I know she is naive but you cannot really stop her from liking someone. May be that cousin of yours genuinely loves your sister, but it is too early to say anything. I advise you to keep an eye on your sister but don’t be stern. She will only retaliate as she is too young to understand that you are actually concerned about her and not jealous of her. However, there is no need to be threatened by her. It’s just a threat. Don’t worry; she is not going to tell your parents about your affair. You should start putting pressure on R to send his parents to your house. If he is so serious about you then it’s about time that the two of you get engaged. And once you are engaged, then you are in a better position to confront your sister. But, as I said before, just deal with her very tactfully. Good luck!
Dear Guru,
I really love the way you solve teenagers’ problems. I am a great fan of your column. I am a 16-year-old boy and am a student of O Levels. I had a very happy life with my parents but unfortunately about two years ago my father died in a road accident. After his death my mother faced a lot of financial problems as he was the sole earner of our family. Then, last year, my mother got married a person who was willing to accept her with her two kids – myself and my younger sister. Guru, it’s been a year but I haven’t been able to accept my stepfather mentally. I was really close to my father and I miss him a lot. Though my stepfather is nice with us and takes care of our needs, but I haven’t developed any feelings for him. My younger sister, who is 12 years now, is very much comfortable in the new surroundings and she is quite happy and when I see my mother, she also looks content; I am the only one in the house who is sad. What should I do?
Bitter Boy
Dear Bitter Boy,
I can understand your feelings, young boy. I know you must be devastated after your father’s death. But, dear, you have to accept the reality that your father is no more and one must get on with one’s life. Right now, you are too young to understand the complexities of life. I think your mother took the right decision. You have no idea how difficult it is for a single woman to raise kids on her own in our society. Don’t be selfish and think about your mother. Be sympathetic towards her. She has also lost her husband but she remarried so that she could give her kids a better life. And don’t you think she has a right to be happy? Don’t harbour negative feelings about your stepfather. He seems like a nice person. Try to mingle with him. It will take you some time but I am sure you’ll be all right once you mentally accept your stepfather as your dad. Good luck!
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