An economics graduate student was crossing the road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “if you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” The student picks up the frog and puts it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, “if you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess. I’ll stay with you for one week.” The student takes the frog out of his pocket, smiles at it, and puts it back into his pocket.
Desperate, the frog then cries out, “What is the matter? I told you that I’m a beautiful princess, that I’ll be your girlfriend and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?” The grad student said, “Look, I’m an economist. I have no idea what it would be like to have a girlfriend. But a talking frog would be worth a fortune.”
Lazy enough?
A Sergeant was addressing a squad of 25 and said: “I have a nice easy job for the laziest man here.
“Put up your hand if you are the laziest.”
When 24 men raised their hands, the Sergeant asked the other man: “Why didn’t you raise your hand?”
The man replied: “Too much trouble raising the hand, Sarge.”
A student submits his essay to his teacher. A few days later, the teacher returns in with a single note: Needs Improvement.
So the student makes a few changes and resubmits it. Again, the teacher returns it with the single note: Needs Improvement.
This time, the student pores over it, double checks every word, adds every reference he can find, and adjusts the layout to make it more readable. He walks into his teacher’s office and says, “I have done everything I possible can, this is absolutely perfect.”
The teacher takes it from him and says, “Okay, I guess I’ll actually read it this time.”