My sister is a pretender
Dear Guru,
I am a 17-year-old college going girl. I belong to a middle class family. We are five siblings. Both my parents are working. My father is a banker whereas my mother teaches in a school. There is as such no problem in my life except for one i.e., my elder sister ‘S’ who is 20 years old. She has recently done her graduation and is looking for a job these days. We have three younger brothers who all go to school. Guru, what irritates me is my sister’s attitude. I think she pretends a lot. Everyone in our close and extended family loves her. She is always ready to help others because she likes to be appreciated. She even holds a special place in our home. My mother always gives her example and tells me that I should follow in her footsteps as she is so kind, generous and helpful. Recently, my khala was hospitalised and she offered to stay with her in the hospital. Of course her action won the sympathies of all our relatives. She also helps my mother in the kitchen and other household chores. It’s not that I don’t love my sister, I do! But, somehow, I feel that my parents and family give unnecessary importance to her and in a way they all ignore me. My mother thinks that I am impolite as I behave rudely with my elders. Guru, I am not rude, I am just frank as I am not an imposter. Tell me where I am wrong. I want to be popular like my sister.
Upset Gal
Dear Upset Gal,
It seems as if you are unconsciously jealous of your sister. You need to understand that everyone is different. We all have different personalities; some people are genuine and some are fake. The phoney ones can pretend for a certain period of time but cannot pretend 24/7. One’s true nature reveals itself, especially when one is with one’s family. Your sister behaves in the same manner as she does outside the home. It is very clear that your sister does not show-off; she is actually loving and kind by nature. I am sure you have your own traits so instead of comparing yourself with your sister, just focus on your own self. Find out what qualities you naturally posses. Don’t mind it if your parents or your relatives appreciate her more. They like her because of her good nature and nothing else. They also like you but if you want to gain popularity then you better do something about it. Try to improve your personality. Dear, you need to understand that there is a very thin line between being rude and being frank. You may think that you are honest but your frankness may hurt others’ feelings. So try to control your tongue and refrain from being impulsive. Give your elders the kind of respect that they deserve. Be gentle and nice with everyone. It will not make you an imposter but will help you in becoming a better human being. Good luck!
My English is so weak
Salaam Guru,
I am an avid reader of your column. I am a 16-year-old boy. I live in Bahadur Kalay, a small town near Peshawar. I have recently done my matriculation. Now I have taken admission in one of the colleges of Peshawar and soon I will be shifting to Peshawar. I will stay in a hostel. My father is a truck driver. In fact, he has his own transport business and he earns very well. However, unfortunately he is not literate but he wants me to get the best of education and that’s why he is sending me to Peshawar. Since my father cannot speak English, it is his dream to see his son speaking fluent English. Guru, I don’t want to disappoint my father but my English is weak. I have two months in my hands before I start going to college. Please tell me how I can improve my skills.
English Boy
Dear English Boy,
You are so lucky that you have a father who knows the importance of education despite being illiterate. It also shows his determination and will to see his son making progress. If making money was his sole concern he would have made you work with him in his transport business. Now, in order to improve your English, you must start reading English newspapers and magazines regularly. Go on the net and you will find a host of grammar websites which will help you in improving your grammar and English. Try to watch English programmes and concentrate on the correct pronunciation. Communication is the key, so you must start talking in English. I know many around you are well versed in English but don’t let this frighten you and start by using small sentences. And no worries; keep practicing and don’t be afraid of anything. Good luck!