My parents have become edgy
Dear Guru,
I am an 18-year-old college going girl. I belong to a middle-class family. We are three sisters and I am the youngest. A few months back both my sisters got married. My parents were very happy at the time of their marriage but as time passed by, they became kind of lonely. Actually, my sisters kept them engaged and gave them company. They helped my mother in the kitchen after they came from college. Now that they have gone, there is no one to keep them company. Now, I am the centre of their attention. They are very loving and caring but their involvement in my life is kind of suffocating me. Now, they treat me like a child which irritates me a lot. I try to keep them happy but I have realised that they miss their daughters a lot. My sisters are settled and happy in their lives. They seldom visit our home. Now, all the burden of giving company to our parents has come on my shoulders. I can’t be rude to them as they have become over-sensitive and get upset very easily. Guru, I have my own life, interests and friends. I really don’t know how to deal with my sentimental parents? Please help.
Irritated Daughter
Dear Irritated Daughter
Calm down. Actually, your parents have become lonely and it’s very difficult for them to live with this reality that their other daughters have gone. Try to think from their perspective – the home which was once filled with laughter, has now become empty. And it’s not easy to live in an empty house; however, they still have you and of course now you are their centre of attention. Don’t take their over protectiveness so negatively. I can understand your irritation but be sympathetic with them. If you want your own time, then tell them very politely that you have your things to do. Try to maintain a cheerful atmosphere at home by inviting your friends over. You can tell your parents to visit their relatives or call them over. This will be a good change for them. Secondly, you can talk to your sisters about your parents’ loneliness. Tell them to spend weekends with your parents so that they don’t feel lonely. Don’t worry; your situation in the house will improve gradually.
I am afraid of falling in love again
Hi Guru,
I am a big fan of your column. I am a 20-year-old girl. I was having an affair with a boy T. We were madly in love. I was 18 when I met him at my best friend’s H birthday party and instantly charmed by his personality. He was H’s cousin. He was 24 then and was working in a private organisation. We had a clandestine affair for two years. He promised that he would marry me but those were his mere words. About two months ago, I got to know through H that he got engaged to one of her colleagues. I tried to contact him but his mobile was switched off. It was so hard to digest that he was cheating on me. I was shattered. I trusted him blindly and he just used me for good times. Though two months have passed, I am still in shock. There is this guy B in my institute who has shown interest in me. I have known him for many years as he lives in our neighbourhood. He is a decent guy but I am afraid of falling in love again. Guru, I am very depressed. I don’t know what to do. Should I reciprocate B’s offer?
Heartbroken Girl
Dear Heartbroken Girl,
It really hurts when someone ditches you. I can feel your pain but life is like that, one has to move on with life. You see you get to meet all kind of people in this world – some are sincere with you and some are users. When you met T, you were only 18, (a very impressionable age) and he was 24. He was much older to you and you just got impressed by his charming personality. It’s a lesson for you – not to go after appearances. Now, whatever is done cannot be undone. Your break-up is only two months old and you are very fragile at this time. You are going through an emotional phase so I suggest you to give yourself some time. Don’t rush. It’s too early to indulge in another relationship. If B is serious about you, he can wait. First try to get out of your depression and then decide with a cool mind what you want to do. Good luck!
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