* There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.
* I entered ten puns in a contest to see which would win. No pun in ten did.
* A horse walks into a bar.
Bartender says, “Hey!”
The horse replies, “Sure.”
* Whenever you jump on a trampoline, did you know it changes the season? No matter what time of year, it always becomes spring time.
* A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for books about paranoia. She whispers, “They’re right behind you!”
* Some people eat snails. They probably don’t like fast food.
What do dentists call their x-rays?
Tooth pics!
Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon?
It had great food, but no atmosphere.
Do you want to hear a construction joke?
Sorry, I’m still working on it.
Why should you never trust stairs?
They’re always up to something.
What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire.
A salesman of Coca-Cola returned from his assignment to Saudi Arabia.
A friend asked, “Why weren’t you successful with the Saudis?”
The salesman explained, “When I got posted, I was very confident that I would make a good sales pitch. But I had a problem. I didn’t know how to speak Arabic. So I planned to convey the message through three posters.
First poster: A man lying in the hot desert sand totally exhausted and fainting.
Second poster: The man is drinking Coca-Cola.
Third poster: Our man is now totally refreshed.
And then these posters were pasted all over the place.”
“Terrific! That should have worked!” said the friend.
“Oh, but no one told me they read from right to left!” exclaimed the salesman.