I cannot stop loving her
Dear Guru,
I have been reading your valuable suggestions since I was in university. Now, I am facing a problem and I want to divert your precious attention towards my problem. Actually, I was in love with a very pretty girl, Z. We used to talk for hours. Though she was aware of my feelings, she never acknowledged my love. However, I was sure that she loved me too. I assumed that being an eastern girl she was shy about revealing her feelings, so I wasn’t worried. I had all the intentions to marry her but I got the shock of my life when I came to know that she got engaged to some other guy two weeks ago. Guru, I am shattered. I am very heartbroken and depressed. I cannot believe that she has deceived me. I simply cannot stop loving her. I cannot concentrate on my work. I have lost all my will to move forward after this breakup. Since she has left me, life has become meaningless. I am so upset. Please help.
Broken Guy
Dear Broken Guy,
You are an educated and mature guy, so don’t hold Z responsible for your wrong assumption that she also loved you. Actually, you were in love with her, she wasn’t. Had she been in love with you, she would have told you so. Since everything was ambiguous, you cannot blame her for deceiving you. Maybe she just perceived you as a friend and nothing else. So, basically, it’s your fault and not hers. Now, that she is engaged and it is clear that she is not interested in you, you also should accept the reality. There is no point weeping for someone who was never yours. Dear, you need to take charge of your life. Don’t ruin your future because of one person. You shouldn’t lose your will to move forward. Life is precious; value it. Think about your family and friends who care about you. The best way to come out of depression is to talk to someone who is close to you or talk to a therapist. Once you do it. you will feel better. Good luck!
I have an authoritative mom-in-law
Salam Guru,
I am a 21-year-old graduate girl, and am newly-wed. My husband, B, works for a multi-national and earns well. B saw me in a distant relative’s wedding and flipped over my beauty. He immediately sent his proposal to my house which was graciously accepted by my parents as B belongs to a noted family of Karachi. B is also very handsome so when the two of us got married, in January this year, everyone was looking at us with envy. Guru, my problem is related to my dominating mother-in-law. She feels very possessive about my husband who is her only son. B has two older sisters who are married. B is a good husband but he is a mama’s boy. He is very close to my mom-in-law and shares everything with her. My father-in-law passed away when B was studying in high school. According to him, whatever position he has achieved in his life is because of his mom who raised him with much care and affection. Since my father-in-law was a businessman, he left a fortune, so running the house was never a problem. Guru, my mom-in-law is a control freak. All the servants in the house are afraid of her. I want my own space and house and I don’t think I can live with my mom-in-law. I want to live independently but how can I persuade my hubby?
Jaded Bride
Dear Jaded Bride
You have been married for only few months and you are already fed-up. Dear, life is not a game; you need to be realistic. Don’t fret about your mom-in-law. She is not a bad person. Put yourself in her shoes and then think. Would you like it if your daughter-in-law, in future, of course, tries to take your son away from you? I don’t think you would like it. Try to understand that B is her only son. You may call B as mama’s boy but actually B is being respectful towards his mother. I know it must be difficult for you to adjust in new surroundings but, dear, marriage means give and take. You have to make little compromises in order to have a peaceful married life. At this initial stage of marriage, you should concentrate on building cordial relations with your mom-in-law instead of going against her. It is in your best of interest. Forget the idea of having a separate space and enjoy your early days of marriage. Good luck!
Kindly send your problems at: trustusproblemsgmail.com