I am a condemned conspirator against myself; can I be? Is that a possibility? Indeed, yes it is. How does it happen, how is it formed and shaped? The first signal of becoming a co-conspirator with oneself manifests itself, when you start lending your ear, with attention, listening to the negative person that resides, within, each of us; this person’s microphone cannot be easily switched off; hence it speaks to you continually, with whispers urging, don’t attempt anything new- status quo should be your motto. There is no need to pile extra hours, since the inner self concludes to you, that the organisation reeks with nepotism and favouritism, so why walk the extra stretch. If anything new is done, it will neither receive attention or recognition of the supervisor. Most are victims of this whispering fox and wolf, rolled into one. The enlightened manager recognises them and terminates their lease of residence within themselves at its first recognition. Some to whom their existence suits, give this negative inner person a permanent abode. Finding excuses for non-performance is to self-inflict accusations of many dimensions. How can any expect good from a manager who is ill to his own self?
The close whisperer also fatally attacks from within mostly, with suggestions, nay, insinuation of the unworthiness to seek and acquire new knowledge. There is unlimited beguiling taking place from within which fences and barriers the growth of a positive mind set.
Those who conspire against their own selves through deceitful and deceptive thinking, that everything that goes against or anything that does not happen, the way they desire, is because of the world at large. The toxicity within is unleashed upon others. These are essentially those who be-fool themselves, by indulging in this cover up to mask the unwillingness to put in effort. Just as no professor or teacher gives lesser marks for good work, there also is no supervisor who would rate your good quality of work as below expectations -- Likes and dislikes do not drive performance evaluation. If any ventures to do so, the system nabs the individual and throws up in air, for all to recognise and know. Yet to indulge and procrastinate is an attempt to shift blame for no or low quality output of work, upon others and later such call themselves as the victim and blame the organisation. The existence of such colleagues around us introduce toxicity to the environment.
Attitude drives both creativity and productivity. A mind-set that perpetually says that the world is against you, versus a mind-set that continually says, no the world wishes to help me improve, go forward and be successful, is the critical differentiating factor between, those who fail and those who succeed. An incompetent person will always blame his tools. The mind, which is afflicted with paranoia of thought, that no matter what I do, success cannot come my way, leads the individual into a complete state of inertia. There is surrender and acceptance to the status quo- no will to challenge. The pond of their knowledge or skill base is placid, covered with thick moss, nothing new penetrates through it, and hence there are no ripples. When water stays still for long, which is against its divinely given nature, to be flowing always; it tends to become dirty, murky and smelly -- similarly a closed mind acts as a China wall preventing intrusion of new vistas of learning and understanding. The presence of colleagues who have locked their minds, add to the toxicity in the entity. All of us find many colleagues cribbing and complaining about toxicity at work place. The compliant is usually made in a fashion that it is some “others”, always, “someone else”, who is contributing to the birth, development and growth of toxicity in the environment. What sadly fails to be noticed by co-workers, is the direct, indirect, intended, unintended, true or false contributions, they themselves make to either give birth or nurture such environment. Many times unbeknownst to us, we invariably, even if it be innocently done add our two bits to the prevalence of negative thinking in our respective working domain. This silent promotion of toxicity goes unnoticed by self and others.
At school, if the Reverend Brothers and Reverend Father’s gave me what to many may have appeared to be undue attention, was actually based on their appreciation of my diligence in completing assignments upon time. In doing so they were not against any of my class mates: it was just that they wanted to convey to them, if you want our attention to teach and guide you; it is imperative for you to demonstrate that intent through actual good quality output of work and attitude. This train of thought is as much applicable to the workplace. The manager doesn’t wish to hear only “problems” from his reports; he is in quest of “solutions”- No manager worth his salt would encourage receipt or dissemination of negative thoughts and responses. Instead those with a positive mind and open attitude, would get drawn closer to the supervisor. Such positively inclined colleagues melt away the ice bergs of toxicity.
Negativity or negative behaviour may occasionally bestow success that inevitably will be limited, for lack of sustainability or it may have the shortest shelf life. Any that falls or falters cannot blame just one foot; there is no room to blame the organisation for toxicity, unless the introspection gives a judgment in your favour, as being a non-contributory staff member. The chasm between myth and reality is not recognised by those who wish to remain in perpetual captivity of a thought process that assures them that the environment is ganged up against me.
I had at London, a colleague who was a reservoir as large as the Pacific Ocean of amazing positivity -- his standard response to anything hurled at him was positive. If a view dissenting with his ideas and thinking was mentioned, he would invariably respond with, “that’s a new dimension, you have provided for me to think and consider; having thus evaluated, quite dispassionately, you may want to reconsider my point of view to execute the task….”Disarmed. Amazing. He never refuted or challenged anybody with disdainful rejections. He tamed it around with ease to make his view palatable to all, with least resistance. Such individuals dilute toxicity. To, adopt this attitude, I urge my readers to bear in mind that such positioning in life has to be done with “sincerity” as its basic foundation; if done with vile, insincerity and expediency, the attitude will very quickly get denuded, for all to see.
Clement stone wrote, “When life hands you a lemon, squeeze it and make a lemonade”. Bode good and get it. Those who have to just stare in the dark are unlikely to find pathways to light.
Anything that presents before you as a threat , a weakness or an impossibility must be challenged with an attitude of, let me find some good in even this toxic environment. The scavengers must be admired for their faith to find something of value in the dump of garbage that they rummage through. The most beautiful lotus is always encased within the ugly and deadly weeds- to obtain it requires skills to wade through the dense spaghetti of weeds, that have full potential to seize upon you, for ever. Such is the case of our cherished objectives of personal and corporate nature, they are encircled by weeds of toxic resistance; we must have faith and ability to cut through, and get the ‘lotus’ of our choice.
Each obstacle in the journey of life, has an in-built potential to become a stepping stone. Some of us allow the small impediments in our pathways to become the insurmountable Himalayas, and hence, we blame them for our failures. Possessed of emotions of not, say, brightness, but only to look at the darker side of life, are individuals who are constantly chivvied and tormented -- they are never at peace with themselves.
Persistence that is backed with unflinching faith will yield the Divine purpose and reality that every adversity will necessarily be followed by comfort. Indeed there is comfort, after every adversity. Faith enables to tear to shred toxic thoughts. To stay away from toxicity is a skill one must practice. Whenever your find an individual or group, whose lenses are always covered with dirt and hence lack the ability to see through clearly; just move away from them. Don’t allow yourself to be polluted by toxic persons. Listen to your inner spirit that would be cajoling you from within to move and get away -- those who do so emerge victorious. Those who succumb to the lure of negativity, continue to languish within the constricting web of negativity, defeatist and gloomy world of their own making.
The writer is a senior banker and freelance columnist