Guru, I am longing for ‘Me time’. It’s not that I don’t love my husband, but I need my space. What should I do?
I need my space
I am 24 years old. I am married with two little kids. I got married when I was only 19. My husband, who is my cousin, too, is 28 years old. We grew up together. We used to like each other a lot and it was my dream to be his wife. My husband, H, is very loving and caring. He works for an IT company. We are financially stable. Life was going smooth but since the past two months my life has changed a lot. Before the recent epidemic we used to have a balanced life: we used to go out, socialize and were happy together. H used to go to his office and I took care of the house and in my free time I used to meet my female friends. Now things are not the same. We don’t go out anywhere because of the fear of Coronavirus and stay home. My husband works from home. Initially I felt good that he was around. But now his 24/7 presence is bothering me. Since he is home, I am on my toes all the time. He constantly needs something or the other. I have to look after my kids, too. Thank God we have a full-time maid but then I have to supervise her. Life has become very monotonous. I feel so down. I miss my friends. Guru, I am longing for ‘Me time’. It’s not that I don’t love my husband, but I need my space. What should I do?
Dear Frustrated Wife,
Relax, my dear; I can understand your feelings, but you need to be patient. This epidemic has affected the whole world and life has changed, not only for you but for millions of people. So many industries have been affected and so many businesses have shut down. As a result, hundreds and thousands of people are out of jobs. You must thank God that your husband has a job and you have a roof on your head and you eat what you like. Think of those who cannot afford decent meals. All those who have jobs are fortunate. My dear, instead of fretting about your husband being home 24/7, why don’t you organize your time in a way that you will get some spare time for yourself? When kids go to sleep, watch TV or read some book. You can also talk to your friends on phone from time to time to kill your boredom. Sit down with your hubby and very politely tell him that you need a break, too. I am sure he will understand. I know sometimes one gets frustrated, especially in the current situation but then one needs to be sensible. Staying home and maintaining social distancing is the only way to stay safe. This is a temporary phase, and will be over sooner or later. Good luck!
She has dumped me
I am a 19-year-old boy. I am studying pre-engineering in a prestigious college. I belong to a middle-class family. Guru, I have been in love with a very pretty girl B for three years. B was with me in school and now she has taken admission in another college. We are in touch via phone. I am very serious about her and have all the intentions of marrying her. But, of late, I have noticed considerable changes in her behaviour. She used to talk to me very sweetly but since past few weeks, she has been avoiding talking to me. Last week, I asked her if she had a problem and she plainly told me that she wanted a break-up. Guru, I was hardly expecting this from her. She has dumped me so conveniently. I am so hurt. It’s been five days since I talked to her. I cannot imagine my life without her. I don’t know what to do. Please help.
Dear Helpless Boy,
Come on, young man, don’t be so miserable. That girl was never yours. She was only having some good fun at your expense. She knew you were a simple guy and fooling you was easy; no wonder she was playing with your feelings. You are only 19 and there is a long life ahead of you. You have to make your career. You cannot afford to waste your precious time crying after someone who has dumped you. Have some self-respect and don’t call her again. B was just a passing fancy and you will get over her soon. Good luck!
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