Shift of responsibility
The new chairman, giving his acceptance speech at the annual meeting of a local society club indicated his concern:
“In most associations half the members do most of the work while the other half does nothing. Beginning today, this will change.
From this day forward this will be reversed!”
Dumb instructions
- “Warning: May contain nuts.” — On a package of peanuts.
- “Do not eat.” — On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing.
- “Warning: May cause drowsiness.” — On a bottle of sleeping pills.
- “Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death.” — Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.
- “Turn off motor before using this product.” — On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.
- “Not to be used as a personal flotation device.” — On a 6×10 inch inflatable picture frame.
- “Remove plastic before eating.” — On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.
- “Not dishwasher safe.” — On a remote control for a TV.
- “For lifting purposes only.” — On the box for a car jack.
- “Do not put lit candles on phone.” — On the instructions for a cordless phone.
- “Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use.” — On a battery.