The shipwrecked mariner had spent several years on a deserted island. Then one morning he was thrilled to see a ship offshore and a smaller vessel pulling out toward him.
When the boat grounded on the beach, the officer in charge handed the marooned sailor a bundle of newspapers and told him, “The captain said to read through these and let us know if you still want to be rescued.”
For two solid hours, the lady sitting next to a man on an airplane had told him about her grandchildren. She had even produced a plastic-foldout photo album of all nine of the children.
She finally realized that she had dominated the entire conversation on her grandchildren.
“Oh, I’ve done all the talking, and I’m so sorry. I know you certainly have something to say. Please, tell me... what do you think of my grandchildren?”
A woman calls her husband at work.
Him: “I’m sorry dear but I’m up to my neck in work today.”
Her: “But I’ve got some good news and some bad news for you dear.”
Him: “OK darling, but as I’ve got no time now, just give me the good news.”
Her: “Well, the air bag works.”