SEOUL: I´m a straight woman who is no longer interested in having relationships with men. Bonnie Lee doesn´t care about finding a boyfriend or a fairytale wedding, and will decide her own happily-ever-after. And she is not alone. A growing number of South Korean women are banding together to reject rigid patriarchal norms and vowing never to wed, have children or even date and have sex. “I´ve always felt that as a woman there are more disadvantages than advantages to being married,” says Lee, a 40-something professional who lives with her dog near Seoul. Now she has gone even further embracing the nation´s radical feminist movement “4B” or the “Four Nos”: no dating, no sex, no marriage, and no child-rearing. Marriage rates are plummeting in South Korea where wives are often expected to work, raise children, and care for ageing in-laws with little state or community help.
“In the marriage market, your previous life and work experience don´t matter,” explains Lee, who has two masters degrees. “For some ridiculous reason, being highly educated also becomes a minus point. What matters the most as a potential wife is whether or not you are capable of caring for your husband and in-laws,” she adds.
She has witnessed well educated friends hitting barriers at work and experiencing problems at home after having children. Such difficulties are the subject of a recent hit film, “Kim Ji-young, Born 1982”.
Based on a controversial feminist novel, it centres on a married South Korean woman who has quit her job and struggles to raise her child with limited support. Women viewers rated the film an average 9.5 out of 10 stars on the South´s top search engine. Men gave it 2.8.