I wasted my love
Hi guru,
I always read your column because you give such good advice to people; however, this is the first time I am writing to you. Guru, I am an 18-year-old boy, studying in one of the well reputed colleges of Peshawar. My parents have inculcated good values in their children. I have always been a good student and I scored well in my SSC exams. Around two years back, I fell in love with a very beautiful girl. We were so madly in love with each other that I promised to marry her after completing education. But Guru, after some time she started ignoring me.
Now, it’s been a while she has stopped talking to me. I think she does not need me anymore. I am so hurt. I did so much for her but I only got tears in return. Now I regret wasting my precious time and feelings on her. I even bought her expensive gifts which she gladly accepted. I don’t care about the materialistic things but I am feeling so bad that she dumped me without any rhyme or reason. Despite all that I still have feelings for her. How can I console my heart? I am very disturbed. What should I do?
Bodybuilder Extreme
Dear Bodybuilder Extreme,
You should not feel bad my dear. I know you are heartbroken but such experiences give you lifetime relationship lessons. This is all part of growing up. So, there is no point crying over something which is not in your hands. The girl did not deserve your love and in a way it was good for you that she did not take much time in exposing herself. Now, when you know that she is not interested in you, you should also try to forget her. To me, she seems like a materialistic girl who gladly took all the favours from you and when she felt that you were becoming serious, she silently changed her path. She must have gotten something richer and better than you. And hey, don’t regret wasting your precious time; what is done cannot be undone, cherish the time that you spent with her instead of grumbling about it.
And a word of advic: don’t make the mistake of contacting her again. The first time you were naive but if you do it again then it will be your biggest blunder. Good luck!
My parents ignore me
Salaam Guru,
I am a 15-year-old girl. I wait for Us magazine every Friday so that I can read your column. My problem is related to my parents. Actually we are three siblings and I am the youngest. My elder brother and sister, aged 18 and 20, are very good looking. They are not only good at studies but participate in extra-curricular activities as well. They are so popular in their college that everyone wants to befriend them. My parents give them all the attention and love but they totally ignore me. Guru, my parents are very beautiful as they are Kashmiris. I am not as fair and pretty as my other siblings are. I am just an average student and I am not good at sports either. My parents always keep on praising my siblings and keep telling me to be like them. Guru, I am not jealous of my sister and brother; in fact, I feel proud that they both are so amazing. But does it mean I have no quality of my own? It makes me sad when my parents compare me with them all the time. Somehow, I feel as if I am completely overshadowed by my brilliant siblings. Tell me what I should do?
Unnoticed Child
Dear Unnoticed Child,
Don’t feel upset my dear. Sometimes parents unknowingly become biased while dealing with their children. Don’t think negative about your parents. They also love you and care about you but since their first two kids are smart, they give them more attention unintentionally.
Yes, your parents should not compare you with your siblings as they have no idea that by doing this they are creating problems for you. The sheer negligence on the part of parents culminates feelings of worthlessness in other siblings. It’s good that you are not jealous of your siblings. You are a good person and it is one of the greatest qualities human beings can possess. Have a positive mindset and just wait for the right time to showcase your own qualities. I am sure you will make your parents proud one day. Good luck!
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