Blonde: “What does IDK stand for?”
Brunette: “I don’t know.”
Blonde: “OMG, nobody does!”
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?”
“Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, hello? It’s only 25 cents!”
Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Q: What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?
A: It gets toad away.
Q: How do astronomers organize a party?
A: They planet.
Q: What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
A: I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
Two guys are walking through a game park and they come across a lion that has not eaten for days. The lion starts chasing the two men. They run as fast as they can and then one guy starts getting tired and decides to say a prayer: “Please, turn this lion into a Christian, Lord.” He looks to see if the lion is still chasing and he sees the lion on its knees. Happy to see his prayer answered, he turns around and heads towards the lion. As he comes closer to the lion, he hears it saying a prayer: “Thank you, Lord, for the food I am about to receive.”