Am I guilty?
Salam Guru,
I am 24 years old. I am a graduate and am working in a private organisation. I joined this place some three years back. I have a best friend, S. We have been together since school days and luckily we work in the same office. We share all our secrets. She is having an affair with one of our colleagues, K. He is very handsome and is a very friendly guy. Initially, I treated him only as a colleague but now we have become good friends. The three of us hang out on regular basis. Guru, now the problem is that I have developed feelings for K. I have noticed that he kind of likes me, too, more than a friend would. When S is not around, K makes me feel special by showering compliments on my beauty. He also calls me at night time and says that he would marry me if S wasn’t in the picture. Guru, I know what we are doing is wrong but at the same time it’s very hard for me to resist K. S completely trusts me. I don’t want to break her trust. I feel guilty of betraying her. What should I do?
Girl in Trouble
Dear Girl in Trouble,
I know it’s difficult to control one’s feelings in matters of heart, but you do not snatch someone else’s man. It is ethically and morally wrong. Dear, if you are feeling guilty then it means that what you are doing is not right. K seems like a flirt and S has every right to know about his real character if she is thinking of spending the rest of her life with him. She is your childhood friend and it’s hard to get sincere friends these days. If you really care about your friend, then without any further ado, you should confess to S and then stay out of this matter. I know it will be difficult for you to leave K but sooner or later you have to make a choice. Let S decide whether she wants to continue her relationship with K or not. By telling the truth, you may lose a good friend or may be S will respect your honesty and will not break up with you, but at least you will not feel guilty at the end of the day. Just remember if you want to earn long lasting friendships then honesty is the only way to achieve that. And next time, try not to become involved with already a “booked” man. You are a smart girl and I am sure if you look around you will get to know many single men. Good luck!
She has rejected me
Hello Guru,
I am 27 years old and work in a multi-national company. Two years ago, I fell in love with a very beautiful girl, H. Instead of having an affair with her, I found it more suitable to directly ask her to marry me, and she had no objection. But, she stopped me from sending my proposal officially, as she needed some time. One year passed very smoothly. I was very happy to find my dream girl. Then something went wrong and she started behaving in a strange manner and started ignoring me. When I confronted her she told me that she got engaged to her cousin H against her will.
Now, it’s been like two months since we talked to each other. I have heard that she is apparently very happy with her fiance. Guru, I am so hurt and heartbroken. Why did she do this to me? She knows that I love her so much. I am so disappointed with her. Her mobile is also switched off. I want her back in my life. They say only boys ditch, but in my case I have been ditched by a girl. I don’t know what to do. Please help.
Ditched by a Girl
Dear Ditched by a Girl,
I can understand your feelings, young man, but now you must accept the reality. It’s a simple case of cheating. “M” enjoyed all the admiration and attention from you and when it suited her she conveniently dumped you as she knew you would not harm her reputation. When you asked her to marry her and she stopped you from sending proposal, it was a signal that she was only flirting with you. Had she been serious with you, she would not have stopped you from sending your proposal.
Now what is done cannot be undone. There’s no point crying after her. She is history now and it will be a total waste of time if you keep thinking about her. Get your act together, man; you also delete her number from your mobile for good. You are still young and desirable, so don’t worry; true love will come your way soon. Good luck!
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