The bitter truth

Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at bowling alleys.
After all is said and done, usually more is said than done.
I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she’s been giving me lately!
No one ever says, “It’s only a game,” when their team is winning.
If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?
Why do we choose from just two people for the President and 50 for Miss Pakistan?
Ever notice that people who spend money on cigarettes and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?
On my first day of school, my parents dropped me off at the wrong nursery. There I was... surrounded by trees and bushes.
I earn a seven-figure salary. Unfortunately, there’s a decimal point involved.
The next time you feel like complaining, remember: Your garbage disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the people in this world.
Home is where you can say anything you like because nobody listens to you anyway.
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the “terminal”?
I don’t approve of political jokes... I’ve seen too many of them get elected.
Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.

Things you don’t want to hear from your dentist

Compiled by Usama Rasheed