If men ran the world

• Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.
  
• Valentine’s Day would be moved to February 29th, so it would only occur in leap years.
  
• Garbage would take itself out.
  
• The only show opposite “Saturday Night Football” would be “Sunday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle”.
  
• Tanks would be far easier to rent.
  
• When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine.
  

Cop: “You know how fast you were going?”

You: “All I know is I was spilling my drink all over the place.”

Cop: “Nice one, that’s $10.00 off.”

• It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.
  
• Instead of a fancy, expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said “You’re #1”.
  
• When your wife really needed to talk to you during the game, she’d appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
  
• Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an acceptable response to “I love you”.
  
• The funniest guy in the office would get to be the CEO.
  
• At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and you would jump out of your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.
  
• Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your name again?” cards.

Compiled by Usama Rasheed