Advertisement
US News
September 07,2018

COMIC RELIEF

Usama Rasheed

Salesman of the year

A young man from Nebraska moves to Florida and goes to a big “everything under one roof” department store looking for a job.

The manager asks, “Do you have any sales experience?”

The man replies, “Yeah, I was one of the best footwear salesmen back in Omaha.”

The boss likes the guy and gives him the job. “You can start tomorrow. I’ll come down after we close and see how you did.”

His first day on the job is rough, but he gets through it. After the store is locked up, the boss comes down. “How many customers bought something from you today?” The man responds, “One.”

The boss says, “Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?”

“$101,237.65.”

“How is it possible? What did you sell?”

“First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a large fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department, and I sold him a twin engine Boston Whaler. Then he said he didn’t think his car would pull it, so I took him down to the automobile department and sold him a 4x4 truck with all the bells and whistles.”

“A guy came in here to buy a fish hook, and you sold him a boat and a truck?”

“No, the guy came in here to buy diapers for his kid, and I said, ‘Dude, your weekend’s shot. You should go fishing.’”

Actual instruction labels on products

ON A HAIR DRYER:

Do not use while sleeping.

ON A BAG OF FRITOS:

You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP:

Directions: Use like a regular soap.

ON A FROZEN DINNER:

Serving suggestion: Defrost.

ON TESCO’S TIRAMISU DESSERT:

Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)

ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING:

Product will be hot after heating.

ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON:

Do not iron clothes on body.

ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID):

Warning: May cause drowsiness.

ON A KITCHEN KNIFE:

Warning: Keep out of the reach of children.

ON A FOOD PROCESSOR:

Not to be used for other purposes.

ON SAINSBURY’S PEANUTS:

Warning: Contains nuts.

Compiled by Usama Rasheed

Advertisement

More From US