Incomprehensible

• Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
  
• Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough money?
  
• Why does the Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
  
• If man evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
  
• Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialised?
  
• Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, and put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
  
• When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologises for doing so, why do we say, “It’s all right?” Well, it isn’t all right, so why don’t we say, “That really hurts!”
  
• Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off the table, you always manage to knock something else over?
  
• How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
  

Life before computer

• An application was for employment.
  
• A program was a TV show.
  
• A keyboard was a piano.
  
• Memory was something that you lost with age.
  
• A CD was a bank account.
  
• And if you had a broken disk, it would hurt when you found out.
  
• Compress was something you did to garbage, and not something you did to a file.
  
• Log on was adding wood to a fire.
  
• Hard drive was a long trip on the road.
  
• A mouse pad was where a mouse lived.
  
• Cut - you did with a pocket knife.
  
• Paste - you did with glue.
  
• A web was a spider’s home.
  
• A virus was the flu.

Compiled by Usama Rasheed