Lexophile competition
Lexophile describes those who have a love for words, such as “You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish”, or “To write with a broken pencil is pointless”.
An annual competition was held by the New York Times to see who could create the best original lexophile.
- If you don’t pay your exorcist, you can get repossessed.
- I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
- I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
- Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
- When chemists die, they barium.
- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
- I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
- England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .
- A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
- I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.
- A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
- A will is a dead giveaway.
- Police were summoned to a daycare centre where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
- A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.
- He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.
Living in the 21st century
You know you are living in the 21st century when...
- You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.
- You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.
- You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
- You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
- You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
Compiled by Usama Rasheed