I have broken up with my best friend
Dear Guru,
I was in a relationship with a guy, Y. I wanted to marry him but since he wasn’t ready for commitment we broke up and moved on with our lives. I had a friend X with whom I always shared my secrets as we had a good understanding. Since X was my bestie, she knew about my clandestine affair with Y. Fast forward few years, Y realised his mistake. He contacted me again. Since he was my only love, and I had missed him so much, I couldn’t refuse him and accepted him with an open heart. However, I did not tell X about my reconciliation with Y initially as I noticed that X was kind of jealous of me. She did not like it when I got more marks than her or when I dressed up and looked nicer than her. Then a few days ago, Y proposed to me and I gladly accepted his proposal. I disclosed the great news to my university fellows as I wanted to share my happiness with everyone. Everyone congratulated me except for my bestie X. Her jealousy came out in the open when she started taunting me and had nothing good to say about Y and me. I was shocked. I knew she was kind of jealous of me but I wasn’t expecting such harsh reaction from her. So I also lost my temper and yelled at her and left her as I did not want to hang out with someone who wasn’t happy for me.
Now that I have dumped her, I am kind of feeling guilty. Did I do the right thing? Many of my friends also asked me to leave her since she had a weird nature. She was my best friends for many years and now we are no more friends. I am very rude with her now. What do you suggest? Should I talk to her or move on with my life?
Ex Friend
Dear Ex Friend,
There are all kinds of friends in this world. Some are genuine, some are fake. Some pretend to be your friend but actually they are not your friends. They say that an open enemy is better than a pretentious friend as s/he can be more dangerous than your enemy. X falls in the category of fake friends. Had she been sincere with you, she would have been genuinely happy for you. But her behaviour suggests that she couldn’t see you happy. She seems like a jealous person by nature. Well, you did the right thing by leaving her but you should not have reacted in a callous manner. Since she was your friend for so many years, courtesy demanded that you should have separated in a decent way. Now, what is done cannot be undone. I think you should meet her once and very politely tell her that you don’t want to be friends with her any longer. This will ease your guilt. It’s not necessary to end your relationships on an ugly note. One can always end one’s relationships or friendships in a civilised manner too. There is no harm in greeting her when you see her around since you both are studying in the same university; it won’t look nice if you dont talk to her at all. Wish you a happy life ahead.
My English is weak
Salam Guru,
I read your column regularly. I am a 15-year-old boy and study in grade nine in an Urdu medium school. I belong to a middle class family. My father is a labourer. He works on daily basis and my mother stitches clothes. We are five siblings. My parents are not educated but they want their children to get good education. They work hard to provide for our basic necessities and education. Guru, my problem is that my English is weak. I want to improve my English. However, my parents cannot afford to send me to a fancy school where everyone speaks fluent English. I know English is the key to success. I want to improve my language skills so that I can get a decent job. Can you tell me how to improve my English?
Urdu Medium
Dear Urdu Medium,
I really appreciate your will to improve your English, and I must applaud your parents for realising the importance of education and sending their children to school despite having limited resources. Now, as far as your problem is concerned, I advise that you read English language newspapers and magazines as much as you can. Join a library where you can sit and read. Check out different English grammar websites on the net. They will help you out in improving your grammar. If you want to improve your pronunciation then YouTube is the best way to guide to help you improve your pronunciation. And the easiest way is to watch English movies and dramas in order to enhance your communication skills.
Good luck!