The officer makes an arrest
A police officer responded to a report of a disturbance at a downtown restaurant.
The “disturbance” turned out to be well over six feet tall and weighed almost 300 pounds.
The giant boasted that he could whip the officer and the Heavyweight Boxing Champion of the World.
“I bet that you’re also an escape artist, probably better than Houdini,” said the policeman.
The giant nodded.
“If I had some chains,” the officer continued, “you could show us how strong you really are. But all I’ve got is a set of handcuffs. Why don’t we see just how quickly you can break out of them?”
Once in the cuffs, the man puffed, pulled and jerked for four minutes.
“I can’t get out of these,” the giant growled.
“Are you sure?” the officer asked.
The fellow tried again. “Nope,” he replied. “I can’t do it.”
“In that case,” said the officer, “you’re under arrest.”
Old is gold
Two elderly women were out driving in a big car. Both could barely see over the dashboard.
After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again, and again they went right through. This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection to see what was going on.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through, so she turned to the other woman and said, “Mildred, did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us!”
Mildred turned to her and said, “Oh, am I driving?”
Compiled by Usama Rasheed