Expressions of angry mothers
- Get your hands off of that lion! You don’t know where it’s been!
- I told you not to play in the house with that string! Go practice your harp. We pay good money for those lessons.
- Stop wandering around the countryside and get home for supper!
- I told you, never play with fire!
- Get off your brother! You’re going to kill him some day!
- No more burping at the dinner table, please! People are going to call you sons of thunder.
- Have you been in my purse again?
- Close the door! You think you were born in a barn?
Burglar’s court trial
A burglar alarm sent out its piercing wail in the dark of night in Brooklyn and the police arrived just in time to collar the burglar as he was leaving the premises with a big bag full of loot. Soon, he was in court facing a grim-looking judge.
“Did you have an accomplice?” asked the judge.
“What’s an accomplice?” the burglar replied.
“A partner. In other words, did you commit this crime by yourself?”
“What else?” demanded the culprit. “Who can get honest and reliable help these days?”
What to say when a cop pulls you over?
- Sorry, officer, I didn’t realise my radar detector wasn’t plugged in!
- Aren’t you the guy from the Village People?
- You must’ve been going about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
- Are you Andy or Barney?
- I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
- You’re not going to check the trunk, are you?
- I pay your salary!
- The last officer only gave me a warning.
- Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does!
- I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That’s how far ahead they are of me.
Compiled by Usama Rasheed