HEART TO HEART

When you say it, please mean it!

The colour of my skin is brown - like cedar or coffee. I am told that I have attractive features. I’m not being boastful; it’s just that some people I know compliment me this way. However, they don’t forget to remind me that had I been fair, things would have been quite different. My immediate response to this is that “I am quite happy the way I am, be it brown or black. I have learnt to be quite comfortable in my own skin because this is the real me!”

I will not deny that there was a time I was disappointed with my looks. In fact, it used to upset me back in school. For instance, there were tryouts for a play and I mustered up the courage to audition. I knew I was selected, but for some reason the teacher decided to put me beside the switchboard to turn the lights on and off and there were about three to four girls in the selected to manage the lights; and, mind you, two of them were dark-skinned and one had some skin problem. Am I still to think that she was being impartial? Or, could it be that we were so good at putting the switches on and off that she assigned us that task? I’ll let you decide.

People might think that I’m writing on this topic is because I still have complexes about myself. That’s not true. I would like to remind you that I used to care about this but not anymore. The reason that I felt this at that time was because our society compelled me, made me feel guilty like it was my fault that I was dark.

The other day during our class, we were just having this general conversation when suddenly the subject turned to actresses. I was completely in shock when the professor declared one of the Bollywood actresses as the “only one” dark-skinned woman in this world who could be “considered” beautiful. I was flabbergasted. Given his age, I had always assumed he was a sensible, realistic man. In my opinion, this was something very immature on his part. Do allow me to say that he himself is quite dark.

I can recall quite vividly yet another incident which shaped my personality during university life. My friends and I were sitting on the stairs talking to each other when out of the blue, one of them said, “Do you think those guys are together? How could the guy even fall for someone like her?” She was talking about the boy and girl sitting opposite us. We could see them quite clearly. The guy was “quite handsome”; the girl “dark” and had teeth that “stuck out”. I remember the disgusted look on my friend’s face when she said this. I was taken aback. How could she, someone whom I consider a friend, think like this? It’s their life - if he likes her and she likes him who is my friend - or, as a matter of fact, anyone else - to judge them? Doesn’t that girl have any feelings or emotions? Or being dark does not entitle her to date anyone, let alone a good-looking guy!

What I’m trying to say is that it’s the same Creator who made us all and there should not be superiority complex among those who have “beautiful, fair skin”. I wish these people would understand that life has taught us to accept ourselves in our own beautiful way.

These are just some incidents that I included to make my point and I’m pretty sure that brown girls like me face them every day. Today, I have a very different perception about this. Today, my problem is not my complexion because this is me and I love myself for who I am. My problem is with our society which screams “SAY NO TO RACISM”, “NO WHITE IS SUPERIOR OVER A BLACK OR A BLACK OVER A WHITE.” If you say and support this, for the love of God please mean it. Because, you say it but don’t really mean it. You chant these slogans and at the same time you are mocking these people by your actions and your words, intentionally or unintentionally.

Until the time you mean it, you remain a part of the society that is racist; it does not matter how many times they say they are not. Honestly, I don’t have any problem with people who are racist and they actually portray that side, at least they are being honest. It only hurts when you claim to be our best friends and do/say stuff that hurts us.

My only request to you is the next time you chant a slogan, make sure you believe it, too. People who have been bullied at some point in their lives are good at recognizing who out there is extending genuine support, and who is actually there to put them down. So, please be true to yourself - and to us.