The bored doctor
A psychiatrist had no patients in his office and he was feeling bored. Suddenly, the door was opened slowly and a man crept into the room on four legs. His mouth was full with pieces of coloured plastic. He was holding strange objects in his hands and dragging cables along. The doctor was glad because of the visit and exclaimed, ‘And what do we have here, a little snake? Come to Uncle Doctor, my snake!’
The man shook his head. ‘Oh, sorry! I didn’t notice your legs. You’re a dragon, right?’ The man shook his head again angrily. ‘Sorry, a worm?’
The visitor spitted out the plastic pieces. ‘Go to hell, you idiot! I’m the system administrator and I came to change your LAN cable!’
upside down
On some air bases, the Air Force uses one side of the field and the civilian aircraft uses the other side, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, ‘What time is it?’
The tower responded, ‘Who is calling?’ The aircraft replied, ‘What difference does it make?’ The tower replied, ‘It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o’clock. If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is an Army aircraft, the right hand is on 12 and the left hand is on 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it’s Thursday afternoon.’
The blonde blew it
A redhead, a brunette and a blonde escape from the prison. They run miles until they find an old barn; they decide to hide in the hayloft and rest. When they climb up, they find three gunnysacks and decide to put them over their heads for camouflage. About an hour later, the sheriff and his deputy reach the barn. The sheriff tells his deputy to go up and check the hayloft. When he gets up there, the sheriff asks him what he sees. The deputy says, ‘Just three gunnysacks.’
The sheriff directs him to find out what is in them. So the deputy kicks the first bag, which has the redhead in it, and she goes, ‘Bow-wow.’ So the deputy tells the sheriff there is a dog in the first one. Then he kicks the one with the brunette in it, and she goes, ‘Meow.’ The deputy tells the sheriff there is a cat in the second one. Then he kicks the one with the blonde in it, and there is no sound at all, so he kicks it again and the blonde says, ‘Potatoes.’
Compiled by Usama Rasheed