Jay Shetty sayshis latest podcast has forced him to apply the principles he discusses about love and connection more rigorously to his own marriage.
With his new podcast Messy Love: Difficult Conversations for Deeper Connection, the 38-year-old life coach steps out of theory and into real-life relationship dynamics.
In a recent interview, Shetty reflected on how he has been guiding couples through issues of communication, trust, and intimacy, and how, in the process, the experience has reshaped how he views his own marriage to Radhi Devlukia-Shetty.
“I think what it's inspired for my own relationship is continuing to remember that the work is never done,” he recently told People.
The podcaster revealed that working so closely with couples made one truth impossible to ignore: relationships don’t reach a finish line. “Whether you're just starting today, whether you're just out of a breakup, or whether you've been with someone for a while, I think everyone can relate to this idea where you expect your partner knows you and you think you know your partner, but you can still surprise each other with a different layer or level of vulnerability and openness,” he explained.
Unlike his long-running podcast On Purpose, which often features celebrity interviews and philosophical discussions, Messy Love places Shetty directly inside difficult conversations. Coaching couples in real time showed him how often partners assume they fully understand one another, and how misleading that assumption can be.
Shetty noted that many of the most powerful moments come when couples realise that time together doesn’t equal total emotional transparency. Even after five or ten years, there can be unspoken needs, fears, or perspectives waiting to surface.
“I think that's a really special moment in the series that everyone gets to experience,” he told the publication. “That ‘wait a minute – just because we've been together for five years or 10 years, doesn't mean that we fully know the person and they fully know us.’ ”
He added that those realisations now make him double down on communication being the foundation of any healthy relationship. “One of my favorite tools that I share...really lays out how we can change our communication from being accusing, critical, and defensive to being collaborative, connective, and deepening love. We don't want to have difficult conversations to win. We don't want to have difficult conversations to boost our ego,” Shetty added. “We want to do this because we want to deepen our connection.”
That lesson, he said, applies just as much at home. “Communication, conversation, and deepening connection is something you have to do every single day. It's not something that you get to choose to skip,” Shetty added.
“If you skip it for a few days or a few weeks or a few months, you'd pay the price in the same way as skipping eating or sleeping for a few days, weeks, or months. And so I think you have to look at your relationship as something that requires daily investment, and it's not something that can be ignored or avoided.”
Messy Love: Difficult Conversations for Deeper Connection premiered January 22, 2026, exclusively on Audible.