THINK PAD
Do you feel guilty for resting in front of your house help because you’re relaxing while she’s working? A client of mine recently told me she does. She added, “I feel like I’m wasting time. But if I spend the same time cooking biryani, then it doesn’t feel like a waste.”
Her words reflect a belief many of us silently carry: “rest = laziness.” In our culture, rest is often misunderstood. Many of us grew up hearing phrases like “khali dimaag shaitan ka ghar” (an empty mind is the devil’s workshop), or being told that sitting idle is a waste of time. Gradually, we began to equate busyness with productivity and rest with laziness, where sitting still is seen as a weakness or even shameful. No wonder so many of us feel guilty the moment we pause!
The first step is giving ourselves permission to rest. Too often, people, especially women juggling home and work, feel guilty about taking a break. They tell themselves, “I should be doing something,” when in fact, that break might be the very thing that allows them to function better.
We also need to redefine what rest means. Rest isn’t only about sleep. Sometimes it’s physical rest, like stretching, lying down, or taking a nap. Mental rest means stepping away from screens or allowing your thoughts to slow down. Emotional rest comes from enjoying solitude or saying no to draining conversations. Creative rest is about letting yourself enjoy beauty: reading books, making art, or redecorating your living space. Lastly, there’s social rest, such as enjoying solitude or spending time with people who truly connect with you.
When we identify the kind of rest we need and accept it without guilt, rest becomes an act of strength, not weakness. But the story doesn’t end there — the real magic happens when we also give ourselves permission to enjoy it. A quiet cup of tea, a slow evening walk, or simply sitting with our thoughts can be deeply restorative if we stop judging ourselves for them.
Rest doesn’t take us away from our responsibilities; in fact, it equips us to return to them with more energy and clarity. It’s not wasted hours but an investment in ourselves. So, go ahead, create those intentional pauses!
- The writer is a professional psychologist