COMIC RELIEF
* Granite Man (GraniteDhuine): I’m the total package, if the package fell off a delivery van and immediately got run over by a bus.
* Hollie Harris (allholls): Having one kid in school and the other not starting until next week is like having one sock on when you really want to take them both off.3
* Peter (arabatman_): When babies cry for no reason I get it.
* Party Waffle (PartyWaffle): What’s another word for “thesaurus”?
* Natalie Would (_NatalieWould): Fruit flies? No it doesn’t.
* Neil Renic (NC_Renic): Let AI handle your boring work tasks so you can spend quality time with what matters, your AI girlfriend and AI therapist.
* L (Ann_Hedonia1): Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony even though I want to as well.
* Forward March (RunOldMan): Sometimes I leave my closet light on, so my monsters don't get scared.
* Lionella (x_zaich): Oops, I think I’ve had a little bit too much to think.
A bear and a rabbit are conscripted into the army and waiting for their medical checkup. The rabbit says to the bear, “Listen, I really don't want to go to war. Can you just kick me in the leg so that when I go in to see the doctor I've got a limp?”
The bear says “Sure. But can you do the same for me when you come out? I don't want to fight either.” The rabbit agrees and the bear kicks him in the leg. It's a good kick – the rabbit only just manages to keep himself from falling over or crying out – and when he goes into the doctor's office he is, indeed, noticeably limping. The doc takes one look at him and says, “Nope, the army can't use you.
Not with that leg,” and sends him home. When the rabbit comes out, he returns the favor and kicks the bear in the leg. Unfortunately, however, the bear is a bear and the rabbit is a rabbit – the kick doesn't even hurt. The rabbit tries kicking him again, harder. Tries punching him, biting him, even hitting him with one of the waiting room chairs.
By the time the bear gets called in for his checkup, the rabbit has spent a good ten to fifteen minutes beating him up all over, and the most he's managed to do is give him a light nosebleed. Sadly, the bear thanks him for doing what he could, and heads in to see the doctor. The doc takes one look at him and says “nope, the army can't use you.” The bear, thrilled but surprised, says, “What? Because I've got a bloody nose?”
The doc replies, “No. Because that nurse over there says she just saw you get trounced by a limping rabbit.”
“Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he’s supposed to be doing at that moment.” – Robert Benchley