“I started working before I got married because I loved the idea of being a working woman. My salary was peanuts, but I didn’t care. It was the heady sense of independence, being able to buy what I wanted. I was no longer dependent on my father to meet my expenses. Oh, it was fun while it lasted.
“Then I got married. In the beginning, my husband used to scoff at my salary and encouraged me to sit at home and be a good housewife. However, my mother-in-law told him that what I was earning meant he wouldn’t have to spend on me or give me any pocket money and well, her logic prevailed,” shares *Anjum.
However, what started bothering Anjum wasn’t the lack of pin money from her husband for her personal expenses, it was how readily he gave in to his mother’s wishes. While he gave pocket money to his younger siblings, he wouldn’t even buy Anjum clothes for Eid. In fact, he told her she should contribute to the household expenses.
“My salary was PKR 20,000 at the time. I wanted to save up for something substantial, like a plot, but I was unable to because my husband and mother-in-law knew exactly how much I was earning. It started small: “Beta, can you give some money for vegetables?” or “Can you make an envelope of 1,000 rupees?” Gradually, my salary began to go towards household expenses, without even the slightest acknowledgment that they were using my money. Most of the time, I didn’t even have enough left to buy personal essentials for myself.I remember once, when I ran out of money and asked my husband for help, he refused. He called me a ‘spendthrift’, saying that despite having my own salary, I never had anything left.So, my advice to any woman reading this: to avoid such humiliation, never trust anyone with your money. Keep it safe for yourself, and for a rainy day,” warns Anjum.
Mrs *Saleem also shares her experience with this scribe which clearly shows the importance of being financially independent. “I worked for 24 years in a respectable company, and my salary was quite handsome. I spent generously on my home, husband, children and in-laws. Everyone showered me with praise. My father repeatedly advised me to invest in an apartment so I could have a steady income in old age, but I was so sure of my husband’s and in-laws’ love and support that I ignored his advice.
“Then, due to downsizing, I lost my job. The company’s finances were in such disarray that they couldn’t pay my dues immediately. My husband pressured me relentlessly to fight for my dues, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it - they had been good to me over the years. I told him I was trying, just so he would stop pestering me.
“After about four months, I began to notice a change in how I was being treated at home. My husband and in-laws, who once praised me, now started grumbling about household expenses. They suggested I look for another job and even made hurtful remarks about me being a burden. I was shocked when my husband refused to give me money for something as small as a facial,” narrates Mrs Saleem.
“By this time, they had lost hope that I’d ever get my dues. So, when I received an email from my former employer asking me to come and collect my settlement, I didn’t tell anyone. I collected the cheque and visited a banker friend, who helped me invest the amount wisely. Now I receive a tidy monthly income from that investment. I’m no longer financially dependent on anyone. I’ve learned my lesson the hard way. I now save regularly from the profit I receive and reinvest it. The respect I lost at home has returned - but, unfortunately, my respect for the people I loved and trusted has not,” says Mrs Saleem sadly.
In a normal household, women are totally dependent on their husband for all their needs. One would argue there is nothing wrong with a husband spending on his wife, and it would be correct. However, even if the husband is good and generous, it leaves a woman without any form of financial independence. And this brings us to an important question: why does a woman need financial independence in the first place? Let’s face it: life is tough for average women in our country. Whether working or not, most women don’t have anything to fall back upon when in need.
Eesha Azmat, a practising lawyer, says that at the time of marriage, provisions for the bride’s maintenance and other financial safeguards should be properly included in the nikahnama. “The nikahnama,” she explains, “is a legal contract, and like any contract, it can include conditions that parents consider necessary to safeguard their daughter’s rights and well-being. Prudent parents should make full use of the clause regarding maintenance. By agreeing upon a mutually acceptable monthly allowance at the time of marriage, the husband becomes legally bound to honour this commitment. Since the nikahnama is enforceable by law, a woman’s right to continue working can also be protected within it. Once this condition is stipulated, the husband cannot later forbid her from working or compel her to use her earnings to support him or his family. However, it is crucial that these provisions are safeguarded legally and respected in practice, rather than being treated as symbolic gestures. Naturally, if the wife decides to contribute out of kindness and compassion, that remains her voluntary choice - not an obligation.”
Madiha Imran, Senior Manager Treasury and Finance at Oxford University Press (OUP), believes that much of the financial vulnerability women face stems from a lack of awareness about the importance of financial independence - and how to go about achieving it. “Financial independence is extremely important, but to have that, the first thing you need is awareness. You must have something for yourself to fall back upon in case you need to. You may have supportive parents or husband, but future is veiled and we don’t know when we might need that nest egg. So, whether you are working or not, you must work towards financial independence,” elucidates Madiha.
“The problem is that most women don’t realise they have options to invest or save their money. A very safe way to invest your money is by investing it in mutual funds; it’s a completely safe method and you don’t even need a big amount to start. There are many other options available: banks have many programmes they call ‘products’, you can invest in government treasury bills, blue chip companies, real estate, etc. All you need to do is do your own due diligence, and find the option best suited to you,” she recommends.
Madiha has observed that for non-working women it is even tougher. “I am sad to say that most housewives don’t even have their own bank accounts. If they have accounts, they are joint accounts with their husbands and they don’t have total control over them. So, it is difficult for women to save without their husbands knowing about it. For those who don’t have accounts, their best option is saving in dollars or gold,” points out Madiha.
When a girl gets married, she gets money in the form of haq meher and bridal gifts from wedding guests. Parents who are financially strong also give cash in addition to the expected dowry. This cash amount is settled on the girl to give her some sort of financial independence. So, women can also invest their haq meher. They can save from what they get for household expenses or their own pin money if they are lucky enough to get it. ‘Committee’ or ‘Becee’ is also a good way of saving money,” suggests Madiha.
A common misconception is that you need to have a lot of money to invest, but that is not true. You just have to find out what the best product is for you to invest in. In this regard ,this scribe talks to a Relationship Manager, Raheel Shahbaz, of a prestigious Islamic bank. While shedding light how to save and invest, he shares, “The basic thing is to open a savings account. In Islamic banking, profit is less than conventional banking, but it is riba free. Profit is calculated daily and accrues. In the beginning of the month, it is credited to the account. However, this is open money that you can withdraw anytime and spend. Since there is no binding about withdrawing it, one tends to spend easily. Go for a safe option like a Kifalah account. If you have an account in the bank, all you need is the CNIC copies of the investor and their nominee. The account can be started for as little as PKR 2,000 only. You have two options here: a three-year deposit and a 15-year one. You can opt for monthly payment of profit or a lump sum at the end of the Kifalah’s duration. It is a good option for saving for things you want for yourself like buying a cell, gold, or to save enough money to invest in any other scheme later. People do it to save for the tuition fees for their kids’ college education.”
“You can withdraw your amount anytime even if it is fixed for three or 15 years, but if you do it there will be a five percent deduction. At the end of the specific period, your amount plus profit is refunded to you,” adds Raheel.
Saving money is not something you learn overnight; in fact, it is a skill that should be inculcated in all girls from the age when they start getting money to spend. “Education is very important for girls to become independent financially, but from a very early age, they should be taught how to save money. Students should have their own accounts. Dealing with their own money is a good way for young women to learn how to save money,” opines Madiha.
“Another thing I learnt is, you should go for what you want without tarrying. A colleague near retirement wanted a credit card but her application was declined by the bank because she was at the end of her career. So, if you want to have something for your old age and you don’t want to be dependent on your offspring for your needs, act now,” she adds.
Financial independence is not just about handling money - it is about dignity, choice and security. Women are often pressured or expected to hand over their salaries to male relatives. Such expectations should be addressed with awareness and education. Women should be firm about their right to money, especially if their husbands or in-laws are greedy.
The experiences of women like Anjum and Mrs Saleem reveal that love can falter when finances are strained. Women must safeguard their earnings, assert their rights and plan for their future. When a woman is financially secure, she is truly empowered.
*Names have been changed to retain privacy. The writer is a staff member. She can be reached at lubnak23gmail.com