relationships
The sad reality of life is that no matter how much in love two people are, fights between them are inevitable. Yes, you are not alone and it’s difficult for almost every couple to maintain peace in their relationship all the time. Wait a minute, did you think you and your husband aren’t meant for each other because of the crazy fight you had last night? You couldn’t be more wrong lady! The truth is, it is natural for couples to fight. Chances are, you two will patch up in a few days and speak to each other lovingly again. However, not all arguments need to escalate into fights and there are certain measures you can take to diffuse them. Yes, there is a logical solution to all your problems and all you need to do is follow the 10 tips given below to solve inevitable arguments. If handled correctly, any confusion and conflict can be solved. Read on to find out how.
1 Stay calm:
The first and most important step is to stay calm. Even if you are angry and feel like breaking a lamp on his head, just take a deep breath and remain calm. You will only regret your actions later so don’t do anything drastic to begin with. Also, men are biologically engineered to avoid screechy female tones so if you want him to stay in the room and discuss the matter at hand, keep calm. Take two deep breaths and think of something good he did for you. That will remind you that he is not all bad.
2 Take a time-out:
For many couples an argument is a time of heightened emotions. Because it can be difficult to think clearly, physically distancing yourself can help your emotions to settle. However, don’t walk out or leave without giving an explanation or agreeing to resume the discussion at some later time. Just request for a time out so both of you have some time to clear your head. Sometimes fights just happen if you are stressed about other things and your partner might not be as angry after a time out. In many cases, even a 30-second break can help a couple push the reset button on a fight. Stop, step out of the room, and reconnect when everyone’s a little calmer.
3 Communicate:
The best way to solve a fight is to communicate. However, it’s not so easy if both the parties are angry and unwilling to bend. Begin your communication with the mind set of listening and understanding one another and then give each other a chance to talk. As you attempt to clarify the conflict, listen and understand what your partner is saying.
4 Own up to your mistakes:
Relationships aren’t about ego so accept your mistake the minute you realise it. Yes, it’s simple, you can soften your partner just by admitting your fault and showing the willingness to make amends.
5 Begone past:
Never bring out the past during fights. If you had decided to forgive each other for the huge argument that happened last month, don’t bring it out right now just to make the other person feel guilty. It just makes things worse. Keep the anger from the last fight aside and only focus on the matter at hand. It is tough to forgive and forget but it’s a task that must be done if you want to make things work.
6 Create a ‘win-win’ solution:
Once your emotions have settled down and constructive communication exists, the next step in resolving conflicts is to find a ‘win-win’ solution. This doesn’t necessarily mean compromising. Sometimes compromising creates a quick-fix solution where no one is pleased with the outcome. Furthermore, important issues may be overlooked. Instead, in a ‘win-win’ situation, needs are met on both sides to a certain extent.
7 Forgive:
The resolution process isn’tcomplete until you have madesure that forgiveness hastaken place. This step is socrucial because emotionalinjury canoccur when resentmentoranger continuesafter theconflict hasended. Soit’s importantto clearthe air inorder tomove on.
8 Touch eachother:
Holding your partner’shand or hugging them can dowonders. At times couplesneed to just hold each otherwhen nothing else seems to beworking. Remember, reconnectingthrough touch is veryimportant.
9 Go to bed angry:
Therapists nowadays adviceto forget the old tip of‘never letting him sleep angry’.This is because going to bedangry is often the best choiceas it allows your partner toclear his thoughts, get somesleep, as next morning will alwaysbe a good morning.
10 Learn to accept eachother:
Last but not least, accepteach other for who you are.Try to understand your partner’spersonality instead ofchanging them. Once you understandthem, you will learnto adjust to their demands andneeds. Also, you will know exactlywhat ticks them off andwill be able to dodge situationsthat can lead to fights.