Mathematics exam paper
INSTRUCTIONS: ATTEMPT ALL QUESTIONS. ALL QUESTIONS CARRY EQUAL MARKS.
(20 marks)
(20 marks)
(a) Plot a graph of girls against prices of phones.
(15 marks)
(b) Use your graph to estimate your future poverty.
(5 marks)
Do I look that old?
Recently divorced, I moved back to my home town hoping to start over again. A few weeks later while making a dentist appointment, I was surprised to see I recognised the dentist’s name as a good-looking boy from my high school 20 years ago. However, upon walking into the dentist’s office, he looked completely different. He was bald, had a big beer belly, and looked a lot older than me. Just to be sure though, on my way out I asked him if he went to the high school that I had attended. “Yeah,” he responded, “I graduated in 1961.”
“Oh my gosh!” I excitedly said, “You were in my class.”
“Really? That’s interesting,” he said, “What class did you teach?”
Haste is of the devil
Wouldn’t it be nice to tell the Dean of your college what you really think about him/her? Well, if you like your Dean as much as I do, then you’d better keep your mouth shut. I knew I’d get kicked out of the college if I expressed my true feelings, so I remained silent for the last four years.
But yesterday was my graduation. And as I walked up to the stage, the Dean handed my degree to me (nicely scrolled and tied with a ribbon).
Once she handed it to me, I finally told her how much I hated her.
And then I walked off the stage and went home. I gotta tell you that it felt just as good as I had imagined.
Today, I unwrapped my degree, framed it, and hung it in the living room, where it proudly exclaims to the world: “In order to receive your degree, please present this certificate to the Dean of your college after final grades are posted.”