I am being treated like a servant
Dear Guru,
I am a 16-year-old girl. I love the way you solve people’s problems. I sent you my problems before and their solutions worked well for me. My main problem nowadays is my grandmother. Honestly speaking, I never liked my grandmother; she always hated me because she wanted a grandson. She has been rude with me ever since I was born. She is nice with me in front of my father but she is always scolding me whenever he is not around. Recently, she had a heart-attack but she survived. Now, she wants to stay with us. I don’t want her to come to our place. These days I am having my board exams and I don’t want any disturbance. I have also planned a perfect vacation, but in case of her arrival everything will be ruined.
My second problem is that my family members do not treat me well. Since I am the youngest in the family, my two elder brothers and my parents think that I am their little servant. They call me for everything like ‘bring water for us,’ ‘do this, do that’, etc. They do not care that I am having my papers these days. My parents, including my grandmother, give preference to my brothers. They get big pocket money whereas I get a tiny amount in the name of pocket money. Also, they don’t give any importance to my opinion in family matters. I am so frustrated. What should I do?
Sad Soul
Dear Sad Soul,
Relax, my dear. What you are going through is quite common in our male-dominated society where preference is given to boys. However, we cannot blame the system; it’s actually the mindset. Look at your grandmother and your mom; they both are women but they both are unfair to you despite the fact that you all are of the same gender. Now, all is not that ugly or bad as you think. They may not show it but they all love you. Since you are the youngest in the family, they all assume that it is their right to give you orders. Your mom does not tell you to clean the house or cook for the whole family, so if they ask you to do little chores then there is nothing to feel bad about. And don’t fret about your grandmother coming to your place. She is coming to her son’s house so you just can’t stop her. The best you can do is to ignore her taunts and concentrate on your studies. Don’t worry; your vacations will not be wasted. I am sure your father will do something about it.
One more thing; try not to have negative thoughts about your family. Your grandmother and mother were conditioned to believe that boys are superior. Prove them wrong by getting better results than your brothers. A glorious example of this is the recently held World Cup T20 where Pakistani women team performed better than the men’s team against India. So it all comes down to talent at the end of the day. Good luck!
I don’t want to leave my friends
Greetings Guru,
I have recently passed my matriculation exam from Lahore Board. Now it’s time for me to decide whether to opt for pre-medical or pre-engineering for my FSc. Like many other teens I am also facing a great dilemma right now. My parents want me to do medicine and become a general surgeon. I am okay with that except for the fact that all my four best friends are going for engineering. They all will be in the same college whereas I will be left alone. I want to take pre-engineering so that I can be with my friends but I know that my father will never be pleased with my decision. He says that engineering has a very limited scope. Guru, I don’t want to part from my buddies but I don’t want to offend my father either. Tell me what I should do - go for my friends’ company or consider my father`s happiness?
Reluctant Dude
Dear Reluctant Dude,
There is a very simple solution to your problem. Usually all big colleges have pre-medical and pre-engineering sections. So you all can take admission in one college and can easily meet whenever you guys are free. If you are up for a career in medicine, then take admission in pre-medical as per your father’s wish. As far as the scope is concerned, both fields are good career wise; how far one goes depends on one’s own capabilities and hard work. Since you are still very young, you feel emotional about your friends. Think practically about what you actually want to do in life. Friends come and go but you should give preference to your life choices first. And, don’t worry, you can always keep in touch with your friends whether you study in the same institute or not. I know so many people who were in school together who went their own way but still remained friends despite having different professions. Good luck!