Dear Guru,
I am a 20-year-old girl. I am a first semester engineering student. After completing my studies, I want to work as an engineer, but my mother wants me get married in a few months. She says there is a scarcity of good proposals these days. There is a proposal for me from a doctor, R, and my mother says a good proposal should not be scoffed at. R is the only son of my father’s friend and has two younger siblings. I have known him and his parents for a long time. They are good people. Guru, I am not against getting married but I don’t want to sacrifice my dream of becoming an engineer. R is well-settled and quite good looking. There are no grounds on which I can reject this proposal. I am not in love with anyone else either. I am so upset. What should I do?
Upset Girl
Dear Upset Girl,
It is always good to acquire a degree and you should be allowed to pursue it, but good proposals are hard to come by so your mother is also right. However, don’t feel upset, where there is a problem, there is a solution to it, too. Marriage doesn’t have to be a stumbling block in your path. Talk to R and find a middle ground. If he is a reasonable guy, he wouldn’t stand between you and your goal. Tell your mother to allow you to meet R. Since R is a highly educated person, chances are he would encourage you to complete your studies. Normally, doctors are busy people, and you will have plenty of time to study, but his home dynamics are unknown and his decision might be based on what his parents want. Hopefully, R will respond to you positively, but if he doesn’t then you have the right to reject his proposal. Your mother will not like it, so talk to your father also about this issue. If you really want something, you have to struggle for it. The only thing is you must know your mind and take a stand for what you really want in life. Good luck!
Dear Guru,
I am a 25-year-old software engineer and have a good job. I have been in a relationship with a colleague, S, for about a year. A couple of weeks ago, we went out to have lunch and S’s brother saw us there. He reacted aggressively and took S with him. Since then, she has not come to the office and her cell phone is powered off. Her brother called me and told me to send my proposal within a week or forget S. Now, the situation is that getting married to her is out of the question as my family is very conservative. I cannot afford to marry her at this stage. Secondly, I need at least three years to make my career and she is also aware of the fact. I don’t know what to do, and want a solution to my problem.
Dejected Lover
Dear Dejected Lover,
If you are really serious about S, talk to your parents and tell them you want to marry her. If you can persuade them to take your proposal to S’s home, well and good. You can get engaged and get married when you feel you are financially strong enough. If you cannot convince your parents, then forget S and concentrate on your career. Good luck!
Dear Guru,
I am a 15-year-old girl. I am a bit on the chubby side. My classmates make fun of me because I like chocolates and cakes and always have them in my snack box. I want to lose weight, but I cannot control the urge to eat chocolates and cakes. What can I do?
Helpless Girl
Dear Helpless Girl,
You are at an age where exercise can take care of your problem easily, so burn what you eat. Also, eating in moderation never hurts, so keep your portion size small. Also, share your goodies with your friends during break at school to keep your portion size small. Believe me, it will help. Good luck
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