On the prowl
How many fashion models are catwalking into television –   consequently stripping 
fashion of its glamorous mystique!

Some Like it Haute
Aamna Haider Isani

When I sit at a fashion show I do not see 'models strutting their stuff down the ramp' as so many people like to call it. I see rows of disgruntled daughters-in-law, rebellious siblings, abused wives, estranged lovers and in some unfortunate instances even housemaids, helpers and domestic staff. Such is the line up of Pakistani fashion models. Most of them are all these characters because thanks to their greater involvement in television serials, they are acknowledged by their acting profile rather than their modeling. Almost every fashion model, with the exception of a handful, has stuck her finger in too many pies. The result is the proverbial thaali ka baingan…not flattering? Exactly!

The fashion model is no longer a fashion model. Women like Aliya Zaidi, Attiya Khan and Bibi are still more enigmatic than the girls who have inherited the legacy from them. Pakistan's golden girls can return to the catwalks any day and strike a pose that'll be worth a million shots more than what we have to endure. So what exactly is wrong with today's fashion models, you might ask?

A whole lot.           

With the exception of Iraj - the last supermodel standing, someone who has stayed away from television and thus kept her mystique alive - fashion models have become a strange hybrid of multi tasking women. Most of them appear on TV shows, cookery shows; they are married and/or have children. All this put together deprives them of the oomph that is imperative to becoming a style icon. Compare their CVs to any successful models' in the world and you'll understand why Pakistani catwalks are being stripped of any chutzpah they might have had. Can you imagine Gisele Bundchen (who, according to Forbes is the highest paid model in the world today) acting in a saas bahu saga? The two movie roles she did accept were that of a sexy bank robber (in Taxi, which she later regretted) and then a cameo in The Devil Wears Prada (fashion-centric, it made sense).

So what kind of TV/film assignments would be acceptable for fashion models? Well, glamourous cameos that might help enhance their fashion identity, appearances in music videos (remember the line up of supers in George Michael's 'Freedom'?) or if pushed to the edge then even talk shows (not the Maachis variety that indulges in domestic disputes though).

There was a time when the fashion industry's economics were down, shows would not take place and work was scarce. At that time models had to moonlight as actresses to make ends meet and it was regrettably understandable. But the role reversal is an anomaly from hell. Now it appears that actresses moonlight as models and they are dragging sordid stories from drama serials onto the catwalks. This continues despite the fact that fashion is thriving with an unprecedented pulse these days. With several fashion weeks, sponsored shows and showings galore, fashion has never been this lucrative in Pakistan. And with your average fashion model earning around thirty to forty thousand rupees per show, there is no need to multi task for money anymore! There are fashion shoots, fashion shows, fashion weeks, editorial shoots, commercial advertisements and endorsements to benefit from.

We need people to envision models as women who get by in life simply by being alluring. They are women who never have a bad hair day, a pimple or never chip their manicures. They are picture perfect on the catwalk, the red carpet or on the arms of high profile, successful men. While some of the world's best models are mere clothes hangers, the super models rise as the elite handful (whose names we actually know) that manage to carve their identity beyond the catwalk while retaining their oomph. Which brings us to the second issue. Are all of Pakistan's fashion models glamourous enough? Unfortunately not.

For a second, dismiss the desperate need for models to be from educated backgrounds (so they can proceed to be brand ambassadors), forget the fact that they need to be young, tall and well toned. Just think of the girls the industry offers as the only ones who'll step into the controversial, often salacious, realm of fashion. Even they can be polished and buffed to a vast improvement…

1.  Models need to get manicures and pedicures before fashion shows. It is not pleasant to see cracked heels at eye level. Elbow checks would be appreciated too.

2.  Models need to wear high heels (unless the show theme requires otherwise) and should not be seen in ugly, clunky footwear. If you can't walk in high heels, you don't deserve to be on the catwalk.

3. Models with less than perfectly well toned midriffs should not be given revealing clothes to wear. And even when they are slim and well defined, stylists need to indulge liberally in body makeup to conceal imperfections.

4. Noticed especially during the back to back fashion weeks: models need to start taking care of their legs if they are going to show them off. That, or start wearing panty hose because scruffy unbuffed legs (as seen on one girl in particular) can completely kill the outfit.

5. Invest in quality undergarments. As pointed out in the current fashion week special of Xpoze magazine, plastic straps are not invisible. Fashion models must be well stocked with strapless, backless and specialized lingerie. Body tape is also recommended to hold up the often-precariously perched corsets (that I have witnessed fall down in more than one wardrobe malfunction) or strapless shirts.

Until Pakistani fashion cannot tune its fashion models to be sixteen year old, tall and youthfully perfect prototypes, it should at least fine-tune the stock it has. The responsibility falls on the shoulders of event managers and stylists since there are still not many modeling agencies in Pakistan. Until then, it'll be the thaali kay baingan on the catwalks. Watch this space next week for a round up of Pakistan's best models!

somethinghaute.wordpress.com

StarBytes
Lots happening in
Noori's world

Quite happily, we must say, that Noori are back! Well actually Noori have been 'back' ever since they knocked everyone's socks off with their Coke Studio set last year. Most of us are still listening to it and marveling at the power that Ali Noor's voice channels and the quietly colloquial manner in which Hamza sings.

The band just launched their video log, or vblog, a few days back and have been faithfully updating their website www.nooriworld.net recently.

"Brace yourself for an exciting new journey with noori!" they said with the vblog launch, "new site, new content, new album, grand surprises!!"

Noori was recently in the news for performing on an environment friendly song with Hadiqa and Aaroh as well. What's more is that they are working on their next album right now, Begum Gul Baqoli Sarfarosh.

With all that intense work going down, the band also has something a bit more commercial happening: Noori is ice cream brand Wall's' new ambassador. For they project they also have a new song and video 'Jhoom Lay'.

The band excitedly announced on their website: "The grand surprise is finally out! noori has signed up with Wall's as their brand ambassadors for the year 2010 and this merger is celebrated by a brand new song accompanied by a video!"

Jessica Simpson reveals her secret for a sparkling smile

Look at the lovely smile and tell us if you honestly think if anything except for the sweetest things come out of Jessica Simpson's mouth. Actually we all know that never has an unkind word left Jessica's mouth even when her most private moments and details have been shared globally and ridiculed nonstop by people who think it's okay to mock celebs for the things they say and do, and then quote to Rolling Stone.

But Jessica shall have the last laugh. Because in her infinite innocence she has shared with us something that will scar us for life - it wouldn't be so bad if Jessica had just stated the fact, but she actually tells us how she goes about her germ-infested days with pride.

"I don't brush my teeth. No, really! I just use Listerine," Jessica giggled to some poor guy who had just asked for her autograph and an interview, but instead got treated to an instrument of slow suicide. "And sometimes I'll use my sweater", she went on, because she knows how much we all want to know what she does with her woolies.

"I do brush every now and again, but my teeth are extremely powerful. I mean, find me when I'm 60 and they'll probably be all out."

What we will have done hopefully by the time that Jessica turns 60 is slowly but surely edged as far away from her as possible. When the little green blobs that grew in the ecosystem that is Jessica Simpson's mouth take over the world, don't say we didn't warn you.

David Schwimmer gets engaged to Zoe Buckman

We are happy(ish). While we think it is fabulous that Ross Gellar aka David Schwimmer has gotten engaged to "longtime girlfriend Zoe Buckman" because everybody wants to be engaged at least once in their lives - we were still holding out hope for David to get together with Rachel, sometimes known as Jennifer Aniston.

On the other hand, David's friends who all seem to be moles planted by People and Huffington Post and what not are coming up with all sorts of gushy reviews of David's relationship.

"David is smitten with Zoe and says she is the one," says one friend/source. "Things have moved very fast. He wanted to see how they got along living together and it has been a big success. He wants to ask Zoe to marry him, it's just a case of timing".

David has recently been living in L.A with Zoe where a play he co-wrote and co-produced was being staged.

Zoe and David ran into each other on the sets of Run Fatboy Run and have been together ever since. Zoe is 24, and is a photographer from the UK.

David is said to be over the moon, and though we are trying to join him there, we are still kind of bummed.